So close yet so far away

Monday will be my last day of the whole 30!! However I still have 10 days of reintroduction to do afterwards. I’m so excited to be done, the temptations to binge is huge! Walking through the grocery store has been torture! I just think knowing that I can have treats is making me a little crazy! 

I had a goal to drink more water, and workout every day this week. I worked out but my water intake was hit or miss. It’s hard to drink water when it gets cold, but I tried. My back is also starting to hurt more than it did, but I think that’s a combination of the weather, my workouts, and clearing out boxes. 

Lots of food
Some of the food I made this week.

I made chili this week, a huge salad, some roasted veggies, as well as zuppa toscana soup tonight and it was so good. I had two bowls! The chili was okay for not having any beans and having veggies in it, but I definitely prefer the soup! 

This has been a struggle. The benefits have been nice but I enjoy food! I have learned some good habits and I think once I reintroduce foods and see how they affect my body it will help me to determine the way I want to pursue eating in the future and what I absolutely need in my life and what I can live without.

Thanks for all of the support throughout this journey. It’s much appreciated! 

The end is near

I only have 9 days until the Whole 30 is officially over and I can begin reintroducing foods into my diet. I am so excited, but I did decide after reading the reintroduction chapter of It Starts With Food that it wouldn’t be very smart for me to binge on all of the food I want. Never mind that William has been telling me that the entire time, I guess I had to read it for myself. 

Meat and Veggies
True story: We were invited to dinner but I forgot I couldn’t have corn after I had put it on my plate, so I put what I could on William’s.

On the plus side of things, I was able to get my wedding ring off without soap or lotion for the first time in a long time and a shirt that I only wore once before and looked awful in looked really good when I wore it recently! So I can definitely see the differences in my body. 

I also made it to the chapter that had recipes so I’m excited to try a few of them out (especially the curry), and I found out that I can use coconut milk, so William went out and got some for me! The next nine days will be hard but worth it. 

A loss unlike any other

Blue and Pink Bracelet
My bracelet that lets me embrace Kiwi just a little

Today I dug out my bracelet, I just had to wear it today. At first I didn’t know why, at the time it played right into my outfit: a black dress a pink cami underneath and my blue glasses. I was wearing the colors for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month so of course my bracelet with the same colors and Kiwi’s name just had to be worn today! At some point I realized that today was the day of remembrance for those that have loss children, and I felt like it was subconsciously Kiwi’s way of saying remember me! 

I’ve lost friends and grandparents before, but losing my child was so different, so unexpected, the pain was so deep I thought I would drown. Everything I ever imagined for my daughter was gone in an instant. There would be no long life lived… and instead I would feel like I’ve lived long enough, just so that I could meet her! Of course I held her, but it wasn’t long enough. I saw her breathing, but that wasn’t long enough. 

My baby Kiwi is gone, and it sucks! 

I’m happy for this day and this month because it forces me to grieve instead of setting my feelings aside and being strong for the other areas of my life. It gives me an excuse to cry without explanation, and to really feel the tug on my heart, it also allows me to see Kiwi in different moments, be it a solitary bird flying over head, or a rainbow, those moments are sweet and I know they are her way of saying hello until we meet face to face and can embrace. 

Today, the rest of this month and every other day please remember those that have experienced a loss unlike any other! You won’t always see their pain but know that it’s there and they need prayer and support and acknowledgement. 

I’m so hungry

This week has been really hard, and I’ve been hungry more times than I’d like. Not to mention this week has been pretty emotional and I couldn’t eat what I would normally drown my sorrows in. I just can’t wait to eat a great big piece of chocolate cake! I’m not even kidding! Right now all I think about is trying not to over do anything when I can eat the good stuff again. Like I know you’re suppose to ease back into things slowly but that might not happen! 

I will say that I can totally see a difference in the way that my clothes fit, and my back doesn’t hurt nearly as bad which has been fantastic! So there are benefits to continuing on, plus I’m very goal oriented so once I say I’m doing something, that’s pretty much it for me. Also, William has noted that I haven’t complained at all during the last 14 days, so I’m sure that’s a plus!

Fajita mix with Kale and Zoodle Spaghetti
Fajita mix w/kale and butternut squash/beet noodle spaghetti

I did make spaghetti earlier this week and ended up eating it for the rest of the week because William wasn’t a huge fan of it. But it definitely hit the spot. I also made a chicken fajita mix with kale and it was super yummy, William liked it. I think that’s something that I could keep in the rotation. I’m just glad to be done with this week because that means there’s only two more to go! 

The journey continues next week…

Whole 30, thus far…

It’s been seven days since I started the Whole 30, and it’s hard, and has sucked more days than not, but I have already seen and felt changes. I have found that I have way more energy during the day, that I am sleeping better, and that I am not so bloated, which make my clothes look better! Therefore, I’m just trying to remember my “why” and keep chugging away day by day. 

This week was hard because there was a lot of celebration going on at work, which equaled cupcakes galore also giving Kobi her snacks proved to be difficult, but I made it through by eating lots of fruit while others were eating their sweets and remembering to drink water.

Whole 30 food
Some of my food choices this week.

So what’s my “why” anyway? My overall health! I’m wanting to do my part in getting in shape and healing my body so that when my next pregnancy gets here, I would have done my part to be as healthy as possible and maybe not be on bedrest this go around. I know that I can only be healed by Jesus but I also know that the food I put in my body can also play a part in my healing so I should do my best to honor the process. 

Going forward the next couple of weeks should be interesting. I know that I will have to make some adjustments but it will all be worth it in the end. So here’s to 3 more weeks of this Whole 30 journey!