As much as I love Kobi and am so grateful that she is here, I still miss Kiwi! I thought that once Kobi was here those feelings of emptiness would dissipate but it’s almost like those feelings got stronger or went deeper. Kiwi would be two years old in September! Kobi’s first flight should have been a lot more hectic because we should have had an almost two year old toddler with us, instead it was pretty easy and people were really kind and forgiving and helpful!
Today I cried. I let myself miss Kiwi and I cried about it. And now I am listening to music that ministers to my soul while I attempt to get things done around the house! Today is not even a “significant date” so this overwhelming feeling of lost is almost unbearable because it’s so unexpected! It snuck up on me and made my eyes pool with tears. I had to explain to Kobi that I missed her sister but everything was okay. Kobi was crying earlier and I asked her if she was crying because she missed Kiwi too? William once said he thought Kobi cried sometimes because she couldn’t play with or be with Kiwi and ever since then, I’ve thought the same thing. It’s comforting and sad all at the same time!
I know I have something great to do on this earth but I’m more excited about eternity than ever before so that I can see Kiwi thriving and doing the work of her Father!! She passed away on this earth and went to work in eternity, the thought of her working hard and being full of joy and peace while doing what the Lord has appointed her to do makes me one proud mama!! I know the Lord is pleased with her and loves her and speaks with her and that is definitely something to be proud of!!
I’m stil sad. I’m still crying. But I’m alive to share what the Lord is doing in my life through all of this pain and this gaping hole in my heart that Kiwi took with her. The Lord is slowly filling that hole and I’m sure when I see her again my heart will finally be full and whole again.
Thanks for listening/reading/praying
Love 💫 Terri