Sneaky Feelings

As much as I love Kobi and am so grateful that she is here, I still miss Kiwi! I thought that once Kobi was here those feelings of emptiness would dissipate but it’s almost like those feelings got stronger or went deeper. Kiwi would be two years old in September! Kobi’s first flight should have been a lot more hectic because we should have had an almost two year old toddler with us, instead it was pretty easy and people were really kind and forgiving and helpful!

Today I cried. I let myself miss Kiwi and I cried about it. And now I am listening to music that ministers to my soul while I attempt to get things done around the house! Today is not even a “significant date” so this overwhelming feeling of lost is almost unbearable because it’s so unexpected! It snuck up on me and made my eyes pool with tears. I had to explain to Kobi that I missed her sister but everything was okay. Kobi was crying earlier and I asked her if she was crying because she missed Kiwi too? William once said he thought Kobi cried sometimes because she couldn’t play with or be with Kiwi and ever since then, I’ve thought the same thing. It’s comforting and sad all at the same time! 

I know I have something great to do on this earth but I’m more excited about eternity than ever before so that I can see Kiwi thriving and doing the work of her Father!! She passed away on this earth and went to work in eternity, the thought of her working hard and being full of joy and peace while doing what the Lord has appointed her to do makes me one proud mama!! I know the Lord is pleased with her and loves her and speaks with her and that is definitely something to be proud of!!

I’m stil sad. I’m still crying. But I’m alive to share what the Lord is doing in my life through all of this pain and this gaping hole in my heart that Kiwi took with her. The Lord is slowly filling that hole and I’m sure when I see her again my heart will finally be full and whole again.

Thanks for listening/reading/praying 

Love 💫 Terri

My little sunshine 

Kobi is four months! It’s so hard to believe! I wanted to get her a cupcake so bad but I know she can’t eat it so there would be no point. I’ll just wait until she’s 6 months so she can at least try the frosting then! 

Guys, she really is my little sunshine! She makes me happy every single day! She has truly captivated our hearts and we are excited about Kobi’s continued growth! Everyday she does something new that she didn’t do the day before. 

I love her so much and I know her daddy feels the same way! 

She is 11.2 pounds, which is her birth weight backwards! She recently found her thumb to suck on, she is starting to smile on a regular basis especially when her daddy comes home from work and holds her! She still loves to talk and is learning to lift her head up and keep it up during tummy time.