Pay Attention

NO not you, me! That’s what the Lord’s been speaking to me recently… when I say recently I really mean the last few days but He’s been very adamant about telling me to Pay Attention… I almost feel like I have been in this foggy haze and he’s breaking me out of it so that I can see and become more aware of how others see me and everything else around them.

I guess the first encounter was on Tuesday at prayer I was a little discombobulated so I wasn’t really paying that much attention as to what was being said and my confusion made someone laugh at the wrong time… not because of what was being said but because of how I looked; so exasperated amongst everyone else. It happened twice that night, and He is just reminding me now that people are watching me even when I don’t realize that they are so Pay Attention.

Yesterday I went to the store and got a few items I got home and didn’t unpack one bag so I thought they forgot my item and I went all the way back to Wal-Mart stood in line for like 10 minutes and then realized I hadn’t checked the last bag… and I heard the Lord saying see… Pay Attention to detail, check all your facts before you make any assumptions…

Then last night the hubby and I were at a friend’s house playing games with the kids and I  said something not entirely bad but not appropriate for the child to repeat which they did and I found the Lord saying see… Pay Attention, people especially children hear you even when you don’t think they are listening.

Under any normal circumstance I would have felt pretty beat up about not paying attention but my daddy God has told me to Pay Attention in such a loving and gentle way that all I want to do is Pay Attention, I want Him to open my eyes to whatever it is that He wants me to see regardless of if I think it matters or not because more than likely it matters to Him.

Apparently He is trying to prepare me for something and I just don’t want to miss it. I want all eyes on deck (my physical and spiritual ones) so that I can focus in on what He wants me to see so that I can move forward in what He has for me.

Our Deepest Fear

I first heard this poem in Coach Carter and then again in Akeelah and the Bee and I loved it! I actually had it printed out and on my wall at work while I was deployed to Iraq but it’s only now that I really believe that I can live my life this way; free of fear and willing to let my light shine brightly! Praise the Lord because His love IS real and I am more than aware of it! I hope you read this and enjoy it just as much as I have!

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

This poem is actually by Marianne Williamson

Easter is Coming…

and for the first time in my life I have nothing to wear! Even before I was saved I would have an Easter outfit, heck one year I even cooked Easter dinner for a bunch of my friends simply because it was Easter and that’s what you were suppose to do. But not this time… this year I am more worried about keeping the main thing the main thing and not getting wrapped up in all the superficial non-Jesus things “Easter” represents, although I did indulge in some speckled eggs earlier this month.

God is just showing me that it’s not about cooking a huge meal or getting dressed up but that Easter is about the acknowledgement of what HE did for us about how HIS LOVE IS REAL and how HE loved us enough to sacrifice His one and only son Jesus, who ended up taking ALL of our sins away by dying on a cross for us who was buried but on the third day rose again in victorious defeat over Hell, death and the grave! That’s what Easter is all about and that’s where my focus will be.

Now I am not saying that if you dress up or cook a great big meal you don’t recognize what Easter is all about, in fact William and I might stop by to eat some of that wonderful food! I’m just saying that for me this year is different because I finally understand what it’s really about. Something for me has clicked and I won’t ever be able to celebrate Easter the same way again… As well, I am not saying that I won’t ever dress up again or cook a big huge dinner again because I love to dress up and I love cooking especially for people and special occasions. I am not even saying that I will never  host an easter egg hunt designed for adults again where the prizes are household items and dinners instead of bikes and baskets but what I am saying is that I will definitely take time other than just at church to acknowledge what Jesus has done for me and how great God’s sacrifice was and how without knowing that His love IS real I would still be lost and wondering what my purpose is.

I guess what I am trying to say is; I am just more grateful this year than I’ve been in the past and as silly as it sounds I didn’t realize that I had finally gotten it until I woke up and realized that Easter is coming and I have nothing to wear… God is Good ALL the time and ALL the time God is Good, and HE is worthy to be praised and acknowledged EVERY DAY not just on the days leading up to Easter.

Praise God!

It all started on Saturday when I couldn’t get ahold of my mom. I had tried calling her all day and yet no answer. That was so unlike her I started to wonder what was going on with her, that little tinge of worry crept in but I prayed that God would allow me to have peace and to at least find out what was going on… so there I was trying every known number I had to the people who were somewhat close to my mother in proximity that is… all I got was, “this number is no longer in service…”

So I called my cousin for her sisters number who lives about 20 minutes away from my mom and that’s when I heard her say, “Are you calling about your mom being in the hospital?” Silence was the only response I had to offer but I had to say something otherwise my cousin would have thought the call dropped… the first thing I thought about in that moment was the scripture that says in time of need it is better to call on close friends then family that’s far away… so I wasnt mad that they didn’t call me I was more sad that I wasnt there… She told me that everything was okay and that I didn’t have to worry but nothing took that sting away of not being there. Even though my heart was hurt I praised God for giving me an answer to my prayer… for allowing my mom to be okay and for giving me the peace of mind to know why she wasnt answering her phone.

My cousin then proceeded to give me her mothers number who was at the hospital with my mom. I talked to her for a minute and she told me that she had just left the hospital but she’d call me when she got there the next day… The next day came and  I talked to my mom, she told me she would have to be there for a week and that she was in a lot of pain… I told her I loved her and that I was praying for her… I thanked my aunt for being there for her… I called William to pray and that next morning came quickly.

It was Monday and I had a wonderful morning with Jesus and spent sometime with my hubby and then I went out with a friend whom I had the chance to remind about the Authority that God has given her… which was a moment for me that I don’t think I will ever forget. It was so quick yet I knew that I was being bold for the Lord allowing my friend to remember what she needed to remember about WHO’s she is and what power comes with her identity as one of Christ’s dearly beloved children. When I got home I praised God for allowing me to be so comfortable that I was able to remind her of what she needed to hear without thinking well maybe she’ll be mad at me for saying this. It was growth that took place in that little moment and Praising God was my response.

On Tuesday I had those who were at the prayer group to pray for my mom and on Wednesday my mom called me and told me that she was at home and waiting on her physical therapist to get there. She sounded wonderful and in high spirits and the best part was she was out of the hospital in way less than a weeks time! Praise the Lord! He is so good!

Then today at work I found out that a client had come to the center because she heard the presentation that I gave to her class at a local high school and she felt comfortable enough knowing that we cared to come in and get help. And that brought tears to my eyes… I mean I had prayed for the students even before I met them and I pray for them now when I think about them but I never thought that anything would come from it…

Half the time when I give a presentation I am just praying that they listen and take it in;  that they see that I care about them and for this young lady she saw all of it. I came up to my office where I am typing this very blog and I Praised my God for loving me enough to use me even when I didn’t think I could do it, for making a difference in this young ladies life and the life of her unborn child, for showing me that I really am doing exactly what He wants me to be doing, if only for this season…

And to top it all off I got a text back from a dear friend and the words were exactly what I needed to hear. It brought me to more tears just thinking about how God has given me a true friend in her! I mean we’ve been friends through so much ever since High School and she has never stopped loving me and I have never stopped loving her… we have this irreplaceable bond that God has surely mended together for such a time as this!

I say all this to say Praise God because HE is worthy to be Praised in the big and in the small every day happenings of life! HE is in control of all things and HE knows what is in the hearts of each and every one of us whether we believe in HIM or not… But it’s always better for those who believe! His love IS real enough that He listens when we commune with him, therefore, Praise God in everything that you do, in how you live your life, in how you talk to your friends and family, in how you carry yourself in ALL THINGS GIVE PRAISE TO THE ONE WHO CREATED THE  HEAVENS AND EARTH!

Hallelujah and Amen!

The wedding day

So today I was reading Psalm 45 for my morning devotional and the little excerpt that goes with it mentioned something about how when it all comes to an end those who believe in Christ will be apart of the wedding as the favorable bride (The Church) and so it got me to thinking about my wedding day… and how much time and energy went it to planning that special day.

I was left wondering if my plans for my future wedding were so air tight… It got me to thinking that I should live my life Eternally focused and make sure that I am planning the perfect wedding. I need to make sure that the guest list includes all my friends and family and those who the Lord has brought in my life to share the gospel with… I need to make sure that the food is impeccable, hopefully by then I would have memorized a few scriptures or two. I want to make sure that my dress is as white as snow from living a life of integrity and purity even after I was married to my husband. I want the wedding day to be a day of praise and worship and rejoicing unto the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords but I can’t do that unless I follow the Lords will for my life even when its uncomfortable and it goes against what everyone else is doing. I have to be bold for the Lord and speak when He want me to speak and pray for those He wants me to pray for. I have to be transparent and accountable. I have to be honoring to my husband and my leaders. I must have His heart for people no matter what.

Now I know that I can’t neglect my family and friends and obligations to do such things, I must remain a good steward of what has been given me. But at the same time I also know that if I don’t obey Him that wedding day might get a little awkward… and who wants to be apart of a wedding where someone actually stands up to object? It just gave me a new insight on how I need to live my life. It might not be easy or popular but when it’s all over I know that I will be apart of  a wedding to remember!

I got it!

I decided that I was going to really do some studying on my violin. You know the scales and chords… The boring stuff that’s so important yet easy to skip over! Well earlier this week I went to a friend’s house who might I say is wonderfully talented on the piano and she wrote some of the basics that I needed to know to get me started on my learning journey… well today I sat down and wrote out the scales and the chords in such a way that I could understand them and I GOT IT!

The whole time for worship practice I converted the notes into a diagram that I could read; to the naked eye it probably looked like gibberish but to me it made perfect sense and it excited me. The highlight of my night was realizing that a D sharp could be turned into an E flat… it doesn’t seem like much but for someone who’s struggled to be able to read music it was a small blessing. So of course I was praising Jesus for allowing me to get it… and it was like He was saying, “Oh you aint seen nothing yet” cause as soon as I got home I kept practicing my diagram and it hit me… I saw the chords within the scales and it made sense… every 1st 3rd and 5th note of the scale is a chord depending on what key you’re in and it doesn’t matter about the rest of the scale all you need is the 1st 3rd and 5th notes… it’s just the basics but I GOT IT… and man was I astonished.

I’m guessing I could throw the 7th note of the scale in there too but I am gonna double-check with my friend before I try anything… The funny part is I haven’t even started to play yet this is just all visual but I know that if I can get it visually, playing it will be that much easier… I feel like I just learned to read and every word I see is an adventure… I guess in a way I did learn how to read and my violin playing will be the new adventure to tackle…who knew… all I know is that I am super excited and I will definitely be continuing to pray to God that I get it from here on out… oh the pieces I will play with my new-found freedom. AMEN!

Random Thoughts

Truth be told, I am just writing for the sake of writing!Its not like God hasn’t been moving in my life because He has… It’s just that I guess I have no real exciting way to write it but that doesn’t matter because sometimes life isn’t all that exciting… But God deserves to be talked about daily no matter how big or small He moves in my life, so here it goes.

These last couple of days I have realized that I have the authority to pray for healing and it happen. It just clicked for me… Jesus lives on the inside of me and as long as I believe that He can work through me It can be done. So needless to say my prayers are becoming bolder and bigger because I know that my God is more than enough and able to do all that I ask as long as it is according to His will.

The other day I also painted a picture while everyone else prayed. I didn’t take a picture but once I do I will get it up here… It was an idea from the glory conference that I got while watching the worship artist paint while the conference went on. At first it was a little nerve wrecking but once I prayed and felt the Holy Spirit I knew what I needed to paint. And people were actually receptive. I believe that the Holy Spirit touched the lives of those who saw it. I also have had some wonderful quality time with my husband and we just got a steal of a deal on a hotel that we are needing for when we go out-of-town in a couple of weeks… So rather I talk about it our not God is showing up in our lives and He is always reminding us that He is always here and He will never leave us and of course that His love IS real!