Make A Note Monday: Sometimes You Just Gotta Rest

As the school semester continues to want more and more of my time and energy I have realized that sometimes I just gotta rest. And even though there are things that need to be done it doesn’t mean that I have to work on them every moment of every day…

Don’t be afraid to take a moment to catch your breath especially if you are feeling overwhelmed with your current situation. Maybe you can’t take time to go do something elaborate for the weekend but maybe you can take a few minutes and walk around the block or go workout for an hour or meet someone for coffee or sneak away on your back porch with a cup of tea…

Whatever you do just know that the paper or project or presentation you’re working on will still be there when you get back and it’s okay to take a break… That’s what I have been trying to do on the weekends since school started. It may not be both days but I try and take a day where I don’t stress about too much work and then do something fun… And like always the work has still been there but when I tackle the work the next day it’s less overwhelming and it still gets done on time.

A random find in AL this past weekend.

We went walking while visiting some friends in Ohio.

I went and watched a play in Nashville with a friend.

Having fun with friends in Nashville.

Make A Note Monday: Things We’re Not Suppose to Say…


Like I said before I find great advice anywhere… I read a lot of different blogs. This information actually came from Tia and Tamera’s official website blog and it was advice that one of their single friends gave to them and other well meaning married readers on what not to say to their single friends… I found it to be helpful for me as I am no longer single and don’t want to make mistakes that can be avoided or put my friends in somewhat uncomfortable situations. I also found it to be very funny and wondered if I had thought the same way when I was single. I hope that you can find the information that was provided to be helpful to you in some way or another. The blog was written by their friend who goes by the name of Andrea… so here it is, 9 things we should not say to our single friends…

Things Your Single Friends Wish You’d Stop Saying To Them…

1.) “You’re such an amazing person. I don’t understand why you’re still single!”

My dear, sweet friends have the best intentions when they make this statement. They think they’re giving me a compliment. My friends love me and can’t imagine why some strapping stud hasn’t scooped me up by now. Thank you, friends, for thinking that I am amazing. Really. I TOTALLY appreciate it! But I’d like to know what on Earth that has to do with my relationship status? Some of the best human beings I know are still single. If being a good person is directly correlated to being in a relationship, wouldn’t all the bad people in the world be single? Haven’t we all met some downright awful people who are blissfully coupled up? And what’s so bad about being single anyway? Some of us actually enjoy it. You might be thinking, “That girl is in denial! Nobody likes being single!” But if I’m being honest, I truly enjoy my singlehood. I like not having anyone else to consider when making big decisions. I crave alone time. I love being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want and with whomever I want. I’ve worked hard to get to this place. After my last heartbreak, I decided to take some time to get my stuff together. I felt like I had been obsessing about one guy or another from the time I hit puberty until well into my twenties. After years of focusing on the men in my life, I decided it was time to focus on myself. I dug deep and tried to figure out why I always picked the wrong guy and why I allowed myself to get into a pattern of unhealthy relationships. I decided to focus on my relationships with God, family and friends. I worked on my goals and dreams. I’m so grateful for this time of self-discovery. For those of you who are struggling in your singlehood, I encourage you to take full advantage of this time in your life. Figure out what makes you happy. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Spend time with your loved ones. Volunteer for worthy causes. Move forward with your dreams. It’s time to start being grateful for your single life instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Our married and coupled up friends can help this process by celebrating our singlehood instead of treating it like bad place we need to hurry up and get out of. We know you mean well, but next time please stop the sentence at, “you’re such an amazing person” – then tell us how hot we are 🙂

2.) “How’s your dating life going? You seriously haven’t met ANYONE?”

Define “anyone”. Haha…Does the grocery store clerk who used his last name (Hung) to describe his male anatomy and then asked if I want him to be my papacito for the night count? What about the guy I went on a date with that just stared at me all night with a creepy serial killer look? Oh how about the guy who hit on me at the car wash? We were actually having a great conversation and about to exchange numbers until he got a call…FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND. Yes, my loving friends & family, I’ve met lots of people, and not all of them have been crazy. Some just don’t work out. I still have hope that there are some awesome men out there and when I do meet someone special, I will let you know. I promise! I’ll scream it from the mountaintops, tweet, update my Facebook status and post a pic on instagram. You’ll know. Believe me. Please stop starting our conversations by asking about my dating life. Ask me about what’s going on in my life. I’ll have lots of fun and exciting stuff to fill you in on!

3.) “Maybe you’re just too picky”

Aaaaand maybe I should punch you in the face? Okay, okay I’m just joking and not condoning violence here, but if I hear this one more time I might actually punch someone in the face…or at least give them a really dirty look! I am not picky. I am selective. There is a difference. According to, “Picky” means “extremely fussy or finicky, usually over trifles.” Trifles are trivial or insignificant things. I am not concerned with trivial things. I don’t care what color his hair is, how much he can bench press, or what car he drives. I care most about a man’s character and values. It’s okay have preferences, but I encourage you to take a look at the list of things you want in a mate. If any of the characteristics on your list are trivial, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your priorities. I’ve made bad dating decisions in the past. Surviving those experiences brings wisdom. There is nothing wrong with making wise decisions. I’ve earned my right to be selective, to choose carefully. So have you! We need to make good dating choices ladies because forever is a LONG time. We don’t want to end up married to a bad decision.

4.) “OMG I think I just met your husband! He’s perfect for you!”

My friends are amazing. They are always on the lookout for my man (I’m lookin’ at you Tamera Mowry-Housley). They are happily married and desperately want that kind of happiness for me too. I love them for it. I do. But this statement scares the heck outta me! Husband? Already? Can I please meet the guy before we start calling him my husband? I’m all for being set up. Bring it on! It’s a great way to meet new people. It’s fun and exciting. But, please don’t call him my husband, unless you want me to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. We know all you married friends want us to join you in the wedded bliss club, but please go easy on the “perfect guy” talk. It’s a lot of pressure for the poor fella! What if he doesn’t live up to our expectations? What if we don’t see what you see? What if we really like him and because you planted the husband seed, we start watering it and it grows and grows. Before you know it we’re planning the perfect wedding in our heads before our meal even arrives…or so I’ve heard 😉 We appreciate you keeping an eye out, but please proceed with caution.

5.) “I can’t wait until you get married and have kids. You have NO IDEA how hard life can be.”

I’ve had some exhausted and stressed out friends say this to me and it was one of the most brought up statements that bothered other single gals the most. We know our mom friends are going through a lot and don’t mean to sound condescending, but we can’t help but be offended. It feels like they are saying that the things we are going through don’t matter because they are not as important as being a wife and mother. Again, that might not be what you mean, but it’s how we take it. I completely respect their positions. Being a wife and mother are very important and they’re right – I have no idea how hard it is to be married and adjust to having a man around ALL THE TIME. (I’m praying for a husband who travels a lot. Haha!) I don’t know what it’s like to hold a precious little one in my arms and be responsible for making sure that little person becomes a God-fearing, respectable member of society. I can’t imagine the pressure they must be under and I’m here, as a friend, to help alleviate any of that stress. On the flipside, they don’t know what it’s like to have my demanding job, or the stresses of my family and my life. We’re all friends here right? We need to support each other. It’s not a competition. We’re not trying to win a medal for who lives the hardest life. We all have different challenges. Let’s try to be more compassionate about these challenges and build each other up. Girlfriends unite! Woo hoo!

6.) “What do you do with your time? It’s not like you have a husband or kids to worry about. “

I overheard someone say this to one of my single co-workers and could not believe my ears. “What do you do with your time?” REALLY??? The short answer to that question is, “Whatever the heck I want.” If I want to go meet some co-workers for a drink at 11pm on a Tuesday, I can. If my niece needs a new outfit for her first day of junior high, all I have to do is pick her up, take out my debit card and get to the shopping. If I feel like going away for a spontaneous weekend trip with friends, I just pack a bag and leave. When I feel like catching up on episodes of General Hospital on my DVR, I just plop myself on the couch with some fro-yo and don’t have to worry about anyone coming in and making fun of my guilty pleasure. Yes. I said General Hospital. Don’t judge me. Most of the singles I know are living exciting, busy and full lives. Singles are in a unique position, especially if you’re in your 30s (GASP!) like me. By this point, many of us have settled into careers. We are comfortable and have some disposable income that we can use however we want. For the most part, we’re not responsible for anyone but ourselves. Does this get lonely sometimes? Heck yeah! Do I want a husband and kids to share my life with eventually? Absolutely! But I’m not going to sit around and waste these precious moments of my life waiting around for my soul mate to come and sweep me off my feet. I’m gonna go out and live life to the fullest! The best piece of advice my married friends have given me is that I need to enjoy my freedom while I can. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Who’s with me?

7.) “You just need to put yourself out there”

Aaaaand you need to go hug a cactus! I cringe whenever someone says this to me. It makes me feel like they think I’m doing something wrong and that I need to change who I am. This might not be what people mean when they say it, but that’s how I take it. It’s like they think I’m supposed to constantly be on the prowl to catch me a man. Los Angeles is full of people putting themselves out there…WAY out there. More power to them! I’m just not built that way. That’s not my personality. I’m always OUT doing something. Doesn’t that count? I don’t sit around at home and wait for Mr. Right to come knock on my door. But when I’m out, I’m usually having a good time with my friends. I’m not scoping out the scene for some man lovin’. I’ll admit that I am way too shy when it comes to meeting guys. I have absolutely no game whatsoever. I always joke that a guy will know I’m interested in him when I can’t speak to him. My face usually turns bright red, I’ll trip or spill something and I cannot make direct eye contact. I know. I have issues. My friends might be right when they lovingly say that I need to put myself out there. I just hate hearing it. Plus, whatever happened to men pursuing women? Why do we have to put ourselves out there? Can’t they grow a pair and ask us out? Can I get an Amen? 🙂

8.) “You won’t want to come out with us, it’s just going to be couples and kids”

I want to start by addressing that most of the time our married and couple friends say this because they don’t want us to feel left out. They want us to have a good time when we’re with them and think we will be bored or feel like a 5th wheel if we go out with couples. They also feel like we won’t want to hang with their kids. We appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I’m writing this to let you know that not all of us single folk feel that way. I love my friends. Many of them are now married or part of a couple. I adore the people they are paired with and their kids. They’ve become my friends too. Why would I not want to hang out with them? They are fantastic people and I am blessed to know them. If you are one of the single people who hate hanging out with couples, it’s time to get over it. Instead of looking around the dinner table, seeing a bunch of couples and feeling like the odd woman out, try looking around the table and focusing on the amazing people you have in your life. Cherish the moments you have with them. Life is too short to miss out on time with your friends because you don’t have a date to bring with you. I will happily be the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel if it means I get to spend time with people that I love. If you have a hard time with this, bring another single friend with you! I also think it is important for single people to have “couple friends”. Being around my married friends has taught me so much about the struggles and triumphs of relationships. I feel like I’ve been handed a marriage handbook before I even walk down the aisle. Next time your “couple friends” ask you to hang, GO! Be fearless. Do it! It’s worth a little discomfort at first. I promise! Please report back and let me know how it goes.

9.) “Maybe you should start thinking about freezing your eggs?”

Thanks, mom! Love you! My mom is the one who always told me to concentrate on my career, not to get married young and hold off on having kids. NOW she wants me to freeze me eggs? I’m just following your advice, mom. You already have 5 grandchildren. You don’t need more right now! I understand my family’s concern. I have a huge Latino family. They love babies. I cannot go to a family function without one of my cousins telling me that I need to get knocked up before it’s too late (I’m looking at you Michael!). I’m the oldest sibling in my family and all of my younger siblings have kids. I’m the oldest grandchild on my mom’s side and one of the oldest on my dad’s. Everyone has kids. I know. I’m on the late train. Guess what? I am 100% okay with that. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent my life babysitting said siblings and cousins or because I was a nanny, maybe it’s because I spend lots of time with my nieces, nephews and friends’ kids or maybe it’s because I haven’t met a man I want to marry and procreate with, whatever the reason- my biological clock is not screaming at me yet. Let me enjoy the peace while I can! I know that I’m hitting “advanced maternal age” as my very blunt doctor friend puts it, but I’m not concerned about it right now and you shouldn’t be either. Leave my eggs alone!

Is there anything that should be added to this list? Single friends, what’s the one thing you are tired of hearing?

I Fired Someone And Growth Happened!


Earlier this week, I had my very first encounter with firing someone… I have never been in the position before and actually wasn’t technically in the position now, but I did it anyway… and you know what? I FELT GREAT!! I know, I know you all must be thinking, “wow Terri that’s not very nice” but for me it was a moment of empowerment and growth because up until a few months ago I HATED CONFRONTATION!!! I never wanted to rock the boat, or question why, or argue about anything because to me those were confrontational things… and I’m not saying that now I absolutely love being confrontational, because I don’t but what I am saying is that I know that I have the strength to handle the situation no matter how sticky it may make everything else… I don’t think I knew that about myself before now…

So how did this all come about? It was simple. The person in question wasn’t participating in the assigned task and left me no choice… so I wrote up a termination email and proceeded to hit send… a few minutes later the person showed up and internally I was a bit freaked out because I felt like this was going to be confrontational after all I did  just fire them and now they show up… but I decided that I was going to make the best of this and really try to figure out what was going on with the person… I asked what was going on with them, listened to what they were saying (it all came back to time management) and then I talked to them about learning to saying no, not over committing themselves and prioritizing tasks, and hopefully they will graduate with better tools on how to do things the right way. When it was all said and done, I let them know that I was more concerned about them learning better time management skills because I could handle the work at hand without any problems… and I think they understood that.

Not only did I grow in my abilities that day. but I realized that confronting someone about something they may or may not be doing does not have to be wrought with anger, and loud voices, but can be dealt with warm smiles of understanding and soft voices of assurance. I learned a bit more of my leadership style and I got to pour into and encourage someone younger than me at the same time… I wonder what the next confrontation will bring?

Let me hear from you… How have you dealt with confrontation in the past? What did you learn from it?

Make A Note Monday: Your Name Is More Than Just A Name…

I actually read this last week. It left me so encouraged and hungry for God I just had to share it. It is originally from a wonderful Godly man and fellow blogger who goes by Dave. He writes a daily devotional for the workplace called Working For Christ and they are very practical, at times convicting and always spoken in love. If any of you are wondering how to live your faith out while at work this is definitely a blog you should check out… anyway this post just captivated me and I hope that you all can glean a  bit of hope, peace and holy anticipation for that special day…

“To everyone who is victorious I will give some of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one understands except the one who receives it.”  (Revelation 2:17, NLT)

A New Name

In my Bible, those words are printed in red ink.  That means they are the words of Jesus.  They were spoken in a vision to the Apostle John about the rewards that are waiting for God’s people in heaven.  For those who are victorious over sin, Jesus promises to give Manna – the bread of life.  To those who overcome the struggles of this life, Jesus promises to give a white stone with a new name.  A different name.  A unique name.  A secret name.  Maybe we will keep our earth-born names in heaven, maybe we won’t.  One thing for sure is that we will be given new names known only to our Savior and to us.

I like the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases this same verse:

“I’ll give the sacred manna to every conqueror;  I’ll also give a clear, smooth stone inscribed with your new name, your secret new name.”

A secret new name.  Will it be a name of power?  A name of mystery?  A name of victory?  A name of affection?  We don’t know for sure.  What we do know is that God will someday rename each of us.  We’re not sure how that will happen, but it will be something special.

Perhaps it will happen after you’ve been in heaven for just a few days – after you’ve walked the golden streets, splashed in the river of life and had conversations with Esther, Adam, and Moses.  Perhaps God will approach you and ask if you have a few minutes to spare.  “I have all eternity,” you reply.  So you and your Maker go off together to a quiet, peaceful place.  There you sit and talk about the trials and triumphs of life on earth.  You blush when God calls you victorious – a conqueror.  But then your eyes nearly pop out of your head as He pulls a beautiful white stone from His robe and places it in your hand.  There in letters shining with the colors of a rainbow is a name.  A secret name.  A private name that only you and He will know.  At that time, you and your Father will have a special bond that will never be broken.

Why would God go through the extravagant gesture of giving you a new name?  Because you are unique.  Because you are special.  Because you are His.

“… The Lord who created you says: ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.  I have called you by name;  you are mine.’”  (Isaiah 43:1, NLT)

Isaiah 43_1

Enjoy your day, “Working for Christ!”

Make A Note Monday: A Marriage Story

Guys, I read this story and loved it… It was so different and so God honoring I just had to share it. It’s from the unveiled wife blog and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and that you all grasp just how much God loves you!!

Writen by: Esther Ienuso On September 5, 2013
A Non-Traditional Wedding

On August 19th I celebrated seven years married to the man that amazes me, encourages me and loves me. He is my best friend and partner in everything and it all started with a walk down the aisle… Followed by a run!

We got married in a beautiful outside setting. I was 18 and he was 19, so young and in love! It was mid August in upstate New York. The wild flowers were everywhere, the sunflowers were getting tall and the sun shined that warm glow on everything it touched. But on our wedding, the storm clouds rolled in and threatened rain. (And how appropriate! I love the rain!)

I remember standing in my spot waiting to walk down the aisle, and for the first time feeling nervous. I realized all eyes would be on me. Most brides just stare ahead and look at their groom, but not me. My groom wasn’t there. We had decided to do our ceremony based on the verse that says:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NKJV)

We knew we wanted to literally demonstrate what this verse said. It is mentioned a total of four times in the Bible regarding marriage and to us it was important to illustrate this scripture in our ceremony. (Check out Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, Ephesians 5:31)

I knew I would walk in first, and then, my groom would follow after me to take me as his bride. Where he was waiting, I had no clue. So, when I walked down the aisle and saw him nowhere in sight, my mind got a little curious/nervous. I waited at the end of the aisle and our wonderful pastor grabbed my hand. He knew that I might be a little confused as to where my groom was waiting.

Our pastor started talking to our guests about the beauty of marriage and how God views it. He spoke of the importance God places on marriage and how it depicts the beautiful relationship Christ has with His church – the church being the bride and Christ our bridegroom. He talked briefly about Jesus coming again for His bride! How beautiful of a picture that is for us as believers! Then, in a loud voice, our pastor shouted: “and the bridegroom cometh!” This was the signal for my handsome groom to come and take me as his bride. I started looking around excitedly (as did all our guests) wondering where he would appear from.

Then I saw him.

My heart skipped a beat and my eyes filled with tears. I got a lump in my throat and my heart started racing! And so did my groom. He was up a small hill to my left when I looked out for him. He was hidden behind the tree line and when he was signaled to come for me, he had emerged. His steady walk quickly became a sprint as he started running down the hill to take his bride… me! The symbolization was so powerful and our guests caught on! As my groom was running towards me, everyone started cheering and shouting.

They just couldn’t help but cheer, the same way he just couldn’t help but run and the same way Christ can’t help but pursue us!

He is running toward you! He came for you, His beloved, and He desires you. And He promises to come again in the clouds for us.

Do You View Yourself As The Beautiful Bride Christ Is Coming Again For?
Do you realize the pursuit Christ has for you, His bride?

My husband and I love having this constant reminder in our marriage as well as every time we tell the story of our wedding day. It was not only the special and unique way we wanted to be married but it is the illustration God designed for His bride, His church.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life. I love you more deeply now than I ever have before. ~es