Tomorrow and for the next 30 days I will be intentionally changing what’s on my plate. I will be starting the journey into healthy living by first committing to an elimination diet of sorts, aka the Whole 30. Not only have I always struggled with food, I have also struggled with back pain for many years, and although it has gotten a lot better in recent years because of physical therapy, yoga, and forgiveness; it still isn’t 100%. Therefore, I decided that doing the Whole 30 to figure out what may be enabling my pain was worth a shot.
Although, I had a pumpkin donut and some vitamin water for dinner, the next 30 days will be strictly meat, veggies, eggs, fruit, and water. It’s going to be hard, but I know that this is something that the Lord is calling me to, so that I can be a better version of me and I also know that He will help me through every craving, every withdrawal symptom, and keep me diligent, peaceful and kind through it all. I’m intrigued to find out what I will learn about myself during this time, and I am expecting to have many things revealed that will further my knowledge and help heal me in more ways than one.
Have you ever done the Whole 30? What were some of your experiences?
I’m broken. I’ve always known this, but I just realized how broken I am, and it’s really, really broken. I think it is very interesting that as I have committed to fixing one part of my life, other areas are coming to the top asking to be skimmed off, to be looked upon and reflected on… and it hurts.
As much as it hurts, I will do the work necessary for healing to take place and I will keep moving forward and living my life to the full! I’m just broken; not destroyed, not unrecognizable. I am still able to function and see the goodness in this life! I’m ready to do the work, to discover all that this life has to offer on the other side of the pain I’ve carried for so long. I’m ready to experience a new kind of freedom, one where I know exactly who I am, and what I’ve been called to do!
Today Kiwi Hannah would have been three years old! So we slept in, had pancakes, took naps, played and played and played in an indoor play room, Had waaaay tooo many sweets, and just enjoyed today! We really celebrated Kiwi’s life, her memory and did things we thought she would have liked.
We were also blessed with pumpkin scones from a dear friend who lives thousands of miles a way… When everything happened with Kiwi, and I was finally home, these scones appeared on our door one day with a note, it wasn’t until over a year later by happenstance that I finally realized who they had come from and was blown away and completely shocked it took me that long to find out, so when the same scones showed up on my doorstep with a similar note I cried for the first and only time today! I felt like the Lord remembered me and remembered my baby… it’s silly because how could he forget her, she’s with Him all the time, but it still just spoke directly to my heart, and I cried happy tears.
I also received just enough text messages/other messages that wished Kiwi a Happy Birthday that made me grateful for family and friends! Leading up today I was a mess, but we really did just enjoy playing hooky from work and taking Kobi out for some fun!!
I miss Kiwi every day, but I am so grateful to God who gave us the time we had together and then gave us the creativity and healing enough to come up with Big Sister Day!
Exactly a month a go today I graduated with my Master’s in Communications from Austin Peay State University. I never wrote anything on the blog on that particular day because I was too busy enjoying my family and friends! Now, a month later I have so much free time, it’s incredible!
I love being able to cook dinner and not feel rushed, I can let Kobi come up and ask to read her a book at anytime, and actually read it more than once, because I have time! I love running errands with her, and playing with her outside! It’s been great to be able to do laundry the same day, and help clean the kitchen and not just Kobi’s botttles. I love having time to go on date nights with William and really enjoy our time and it not be rushed because I have homework due the next day or chapters to read! I mean we just went on a family vacation to the beach and did absolutely nothing, because we needed a break and it was marvelous!!
Life since graduation has been absolutely wonderful! It’s still hard, and I’m still tired, but now it’s because I stayed up too late watching the movie Matilda ( true story) and not because I was finishing a paper or submitting a quiz! Y’all freedom feels good! Thank you for all your prayers and support while I was in school, I’m grateful and glad to be done!