Technically this is William’s second Father’s Day as we just found out we were expecting right before Father’s Day last year however this year is so bitter… I want to say that it’s sweet and we had a great day which we did, but from the very moment I woke up this morning my heart was heavy and it’s still so heavy even now…
Even though today makes 9 months that our Kiwi Hannah has been with Jesus I still want to acknowledge my love because today is his day and he did such a great job honoring me on Mother’s Day… William was and is a fantastic Father! He made sure he was there at every appointment and made sure I had everything I wanted and needed. He is caring and kind and loves children both ours and others and will play with them until they are all pooped out (him included).
Thank you William for being such a righteous man who loves God above everything else! I love you and appreciate you and know that the memories we made with Kiwi will last a lifetime until we meet her again! Thank you for walking this life out with me. I love you and treasure you and can’t wait to make new memories with our future children. Happy Father’s Day my love I hope you found a piece of Joy in all of this bitterness!
so I was casually scrolling through Facebook when I see a friends post from like 3 years ago she was just reflecting on how much her life had changed since then… I clicked on her post to finish reading it and instead clicked on my posts for this day in past years… And I found this:
Apparently, just one short year ago today we announced we were pregnant!! I definitely wasn’t ready or expecting to see this… To be honest I had no idea when we made the announcement and hadn’t thought about it much.
My heart is heavy with the knowlege of how much my life has truly changed in just one year! I’ll definitely have a good cry or several tonight (after I work on homework) but I will also spend some extra time with Jesus thanking Him for continuing to be by my side even when I’m mad at Him. The Lord has truly done a work on my heart and has allotted me a grace I never knew was possible.
I loss my baby girl Kiwi Hannah back in September of last year… Since then I chose to get healthy, celebrated six years of marriage, found a job, did a 30 before 30 list, quit a job and start Grad School…
I’m grieving but I am also living and hopefully I’ll make time to share with you guys (especially my blog friends) what that looks like. There are far more moments of joy that I need to share with you all. Until then please know that it gets better.