A New Life

After a pain so deep I thought it would kill me, I found new life! When Kiwi took her last few breaths on this side of heaven it completely ruined me. The anguish I felt was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and am in no hurry to feel again. It was a struggle just to breathe, let alone eat or get out of bed! I won’t say sleep, for once I did fall asleep I slept to pass the day. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, it was one of those gut wrenching cries that you feel in the pit of your stomach! 

At some point, about 3 months later I decided that it was time to do something, so I found work  to keep my mind busy, then decided it was time to go to grad school and a year to the day of Kiwi’s first birthday, I found out I was pregnant with her little sister, Kobi! Although, there was a new life to grow, I was petrified. The saga that was bedrest began, grad school got put on hold,  and I did absolutely everything I could to keep Kobi growing. However, little miss Kobi decided she wanted to come closer to her sister’s original due date and made her appearance in February! We finally had a baby on this side of heaven to take care of, and to love!!

Time in the NICU made things go very slowly at first, days began to run together, and I couldn’t wait until William got off so we could go for our visits. All I ever wanted to do was be with our new baby! We were able to finally bring her home and things began to pick up! I spent all my time with her, went back to grad school, and stayed home with her as long as we could afford to. 

Kobi grew and grew and grew some more!! Her first birthday came and we celebrated her life and all that God has planned for her! It truly was a joyous occasion. We have often joked that we got to celebrate keeping her alive, cause it really is a huge accomplishment, but now as she is beginning to walk, and her personality is beginning to show itself, and she’s becoming more independent, I see that she has kept ME alive! 

She has given me a new life! One full of joy and frustration and gratefulness even at two in the morning! Kobi literally makes me feel better just by holding her, and she gives me the energy and “want to” that I need to get stuff done.  I want her to see a positive example of what marriage is like. I want to make sure that she is taken care of, not just now but when we (her parents) are long gone! I want her to know the voice of Jesus, the love of God and the comfort and teachings of the Holy Spirit. I want her to know that her prayers are heard and answered according to His will! I want her to love people, travel and good food! I want her to know that her father and I are a safe place and I want to show her unconditional love. It’s that want I have for her that keeps me alive and has given me a new life! 

People have always said, “a baby changes everything” and they are absolutely right, but I think most people focus on the long nights, the dirty diapers, the privacy issues, and the overall change in schedules. They never talk about the joy you feel at each milestone accomplished, even if it is just pooping, or getting a full nights sleep. Or better yet, the cooing, and the smiles. That clapping and the laughing. My favorite thing to do is to watch Kobi try to figure out how something works! I can see the wonder and curiosity in her eyes and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I love teaching her new things and finding moments to just love on her, and seeing her play with her daddy, consistently melts my heart because she adores him!! Those are the things that have made the changes so worth it!

This new life is not quite what I expected but I am loving every moment of it and am so grateful to have each and every experience to learn and continue to grow.

We Survived Our First Overnight

Y’all life has been busy, too busy, and it really won’t slow down until the second week of May, but we decided to take advantage of an opportunity and had our first overnight without Kobi!! 

We actually picked her up like usual from our friend’s house, and then we came home gave her a bath put pajamas on her and got back in the car and dropped her off. It was hard leaving her, but I knew she was in good hands and we didn’t spend the whole time talking about her, in fact we only paused from our night to make her a goodnight video, but we did missed her terribly this morning!! 

We didn’t even do much of anything. We decided to go out to dinner to enjoy someone else doing the dishes and to enjoy a meal uninterrupted, then we tried to find me an (out of season) cardigan for the office that didn’t cost an arm and a leg (Kohls)! We did talk, and dream a little about our future, Bill told me a riddle that wasn’t really a riddle but more like a word problem, but not a word problem at all, and it went way left and I was confused for a while but we shared a really good laugh over it and then we ended up on the couch eating ice cream watching Bones. It was a great time of togetherness even though we were both tired before dinner and I had to leave early (only one episode of Bones) to do homework! 

I guess I’m surprised that we made it through the night with no tears on my part and we were able to just sit and enjoy the time we had. It’s needed every once in a while, but I do love the routines we have in place with Kobi and I look forward to being able to spend more time with my family after the second week of May!!  

Hopefully it won’t be quite as long until the next post, but alas I make no promises, because grad school!

Fasting Saved Our Lives

Yesterday was a big day, our new church building was being dedicated so I decided to fast as part of the consecration. It was kind of a last minute decision the night before but I’m so glad I listened to that tiny urging that told me to do it. 

The day went by like any other day, except for I got to spend some great quality time with my best friend and paint my nails on my lunch break as part of my Spring Break Fun! I also spent some really good time with Jesus reading Psalm 34 and just meditating on His word.

When I got off of work, I went to get Kobi like I normally do, William went home to let Hannah out. By the time I got home all we had to do was grab some water for Kobi’s bottle, grab my Bible and notebook and hit the road…

I was driving so William could finish up some work he was doing and we were off. Even though I wanted to talk to William I was trying to be quiet so instead  I thought about how great worshipping the Lord together was going to be and I was in full expectation for what the Lord was going to do! I recalled my prayer from earlier where I prayed that I would fear the Lord but not His word or promises! 

And that’s when it happened. A two trailer FedEx truck began to creep into my lane. At first I didn’t think too much about it, because big trucks tend to ride the line so I began to slow down and then he kept coming over, I tried to honk my horn and brake even more, the only problem was we were on the highway going 70 miles an hour. So I inevitably swung out of control, and ended up in the median! 

William immediately got out once we were stopped, checked us and the car and then went to go check on the other driver, who had  stopped about 100 yards ahead and got out. Kobi who had been sleeping didn’t appreciate her nap being interrupted and began to fuss. I stayed calm and just began to thank Jesus for watching over us, for His angels making sure that we didn’t hit the back tires of the truck, and that there wasn’t any one else behind us in that lane at that moment, and of course that we were all okay! Tears definitely began to flow from relief and gratitude. That poor driver was wrecked emotionally. He came to apologize and seemed very upset and concerned especially when he found out Kobi was in the car. He and William checked the car once over made sure we were okay and we went about our business to church. We blessed that man, told him thank you for stopping, and as we were leaving I said an extra prayer for him. He did give us his information just in case but there was no need for that. 

Of course I was a little shaken up, so William drove the rest of the way to church, I was a little sore once my body relaxed from the pure shock but it’s really nothing a little ibuprofen and stretching won’t fix. We had our Pastor pray for us before we made the trek home and relief, peace, and gratitude fell and I feel fearless, and my aniexty (those little things that I was stressing about) are gone. I just want to glorify God and live! 

I do believe that my fasting played a role in us walking away uninjured, we didn’t just dedicate a building, we dedicated ourselves as the church to do all that God has called us to do, and all that The Lord has planned for us is going to require us to walk confidently in the Lord, trusting whole heartedly in His word and promises and leaving fear by the wayside. There’s a new motivation to live out my purpose; our purpose as a family and that’s exactly what I (we) plan on doing.

Stay Blessed! 

Terri 

Doing what I love!

Tonight I got to teach someone about Twitter for a school assignment, and I left so pumped! Twitter is not even my favorite social media platform, but I honestly loved every moment! We met for an hour and I was able to ask a lot of questions that made her think, show her examples of others in her industry, and give her a crash course of the ends and outs of Twitter! I also showed her Periscope because I think it could be a useful tool for what she does (and Twitter owns them)  she left excited and had fun! 

After the meeting was over, I could feel the joy rushing through my body and I couldn’t stop smiling, I told William that I need to figure out a way to do what I just did full time because I absolutely loved it! I forgot how good it felt to do something I loved doing! Tonight was definitely a rekindling of a fire that was put out and I’m excited! 

I want to go into organizations and teach them how to use social media for their benefit. 

If I write it out it has to come to pass, right?! 

So consider this my faith goal, and the beginning of something to come! 
Continued Blessings,
Terri 

On This Day

At this very moment, I had a few words with Cookie as the music started to play and everyone began walking in to take their places on the stage and I couldn’t stop crying because I couldn’t believe that I was finally getting married and having a real wedding to boot! Getting married was something I had always dreamed about but never really saw it modeled, so I didn’t think it was possible, but then I met Jesus and He gave me the desires of my heart as I walked in to the room and professsed my love for you in front of our closest friends and family.  The ceremony ended with our first kiss, but that was just the beginning! We danced, I fell, we visited with our friends, we ate a little, and we helped clean up too, we celebrated becoming one and I am so grateful to you for making me your wife! 

On This Day

8 years later, William, I want to say thank you for loving me, and for fighting for our marriage! Thank you for being the best husband you know how to be and for your continued efforts to be even better! We have been through so much in these eight years and yet I still feel like I  have barely scratched the surface to your heart. William, you are an amazing, complicated, sensitive man and I promise to always put in the effort it takes to love you better and love you just the way you are! I love you today and always and am truly honored to be your wife!! Happy Anniversary my love!! I am glad to be on this grand Jesus adventure with you!! 

Happy First Birthday, Kobi!

Y’all we made it! Kobi is officially one year old today!! I have so many emotions running through me but I haven’t had time to process them all because I was too busy getting everything together for her birthday celebration that we had tonight. But I’m sure things will come rushing in soon enough.

Kobi has grown so much over this pass year it amazes me every day! She is starting to walk a little bit with assistance, she loves eating real food (we had pancakes earlier today as a birthday tradition and she ate pasta and rolls, for dinner) She loves music, dancing to music or singing to the music. She knows how to clap, and she loves animals (we’re hoping to take her to the zoo tomorrow if the weather cooperates). She’s gone from a 2lbs. 11 oz. baby to a 24lbs. infant… she’s getting tall and she just wants to see everything and figure out how things work (we think she might be an engineer). She likes watching t.v and spending time with her daddy. Kobi loves to laugh and has such a big smile, Oh and she has two teeth now!! It’s so fun to hear her crunch on different foods.

Y’all my baby made it! Despite everything that happened to get her to this point we made it and I am so thankful and grateful to my God who kept her, and us! Thank you to each and every one of you who said a prayer, who brought food, who shared kind words, who rallied around us this past year. Thank you for your love and support and for cheering us on, you are loved and appreciated and I hope that each of you get to see Kobi one day in real life!

Here are a few pictures from her celebration!

Love Y’all,

Terri

My First Gray Hair!

Y’all I got my first gray hair and I am so excited!! When I found it yesterday morning my husband asked me how do I know it’s my first one and I told him well it’s the first one I’ve seen so to me it’s my first! I even got to show my mom when we video chatted last night and we were both smiling and laughing and celebrating it!

There was a tinge of sadness but it only lasted a moment. And then I thought about what could have caused it and how long it takes for a gray hair to appear… I told William that this gray hair was the fruit of last year, but really it could be the fruit of the last two years!! Either way whatever caused it I survived it and I feel just a tad bit wiser for it even if it’s not true.

I’ve always loved gray hair. I feel like it’s regal and represents a life well lived so I will gladly welcome the gray hair because to me it means that I’m living life well!
When was the first time you got your first gray hair and how did you feel?