My 2018 Theme

This comes a whole ten days sooner than normal but I really started thinking about it a lot earlier and wrote things down a lot sooner…

My word for this year is WELLNESS. At first it was going to be healthy, but I feel like that only applies to exercise and diet, whereas wellness encompasses every aspect of my life, to include my marriage, my spiritual life, my family and my health.

I want to maintain a healthy diet and lifestyle, I want to grow in my marriage, and be able to use all the energy I used in school to learn about my husband, his needs, wants, and desires. I want to have regular date nights and really become his best friend! When it comes to my spiritual life, I want to be able to meditate on the word day and night, and I want to pray for myself the way I’ve prayed for others over the years, and for my family I want shared experiences and memories made, open communication, a good work-family balance and overall health.

I’m excited to embark on this overall journey of wellness for the coming year and beyond and I hope and pray that whatever your word, or resolution is that you find the motivation to see them to completion.

Whole 30 Results and Triggers

Originally this was suppose to be separate posts but life just wouldn’t allow for such things. Therefore I am writing it all together! 

During the whole 30 I ended up losing 9 pounds and a lot of inches. I’m bad at math but there will be pictures for you to see. I started at 158 and now weigh 149! I haven’t seen a 140 something since l got out of the Army, so to say that I am stoked is an understatement!! 

When I reintroduced dairy, honestly it was kind of lackluster.  The flavor I had craved wasn’t there. On the plus side, my stomach didn’t hurt, although I did get a little gassy after finishing almost a pint of Halo Top ice cream, but I think that had more to do with what time I ate it, because it was like 9 at night! 

This past Friday I reintroduced gluten because I was ready for some deep dish pizza! William took me to IHOP for pancakes and they were fantastic, but they put me to sleep for a couple of hours! Later that night we went to go get pizza and all was well, I didn’t get tired like I did with the pancakes but later on the drive home and that night my back began to hurt in that all too familiar way that I hadn’t felt for 30 plus days! 

Apparently the gluten at least the kind in pizza crust and probably other breads, and maybe pastas are what have been causing a good majority of my back pain! I couldn’t believe it! It might also be the kind that are in cakes and cookies too. I don’t know, and I’m a little hesitant to try and figure it out because I don’t want to be in pain if I don’t have to be. But at least I know how my body reacts to certain food groups and now I can see if they are worth keeping in my regular every day diet! 

Technically I still have 2 more reintroductions to do, non grain gluten like rice, and quinoa and then legumes but I’m pretty much done. I may have a thing of rice or quinoa with dinner to see what happens and maybe wait a day and have some peanut butter or beans but I don’t really eat those two groups that often, so I’m not really worried about how they affect my body and I’m tired of stressing out about what I can and can’t eat! 

Would I do the Whole 30 again, probably not, but will I take what I learned with me, and live a Whole 30 ish lifestyle with occasional resets when needed? Absolutely!

So close yet so far away

Monday will be my last day of the whole 30!! However I still have 10 days of reintroduction to do afterwards. I’m so excited to be done, the temptations to binge is huge! Walking through the grocery store has been torture! I just think knowing that I can have treats is making me a little crazy! 

I had a goal to drink more water, and workout every day this week. I worked out but my water intake was hit or miss. It’s hard to drink water when it gets cold, but I tried. My back is also starting to hurt more than it did, but I think that’s a combination of the weather, my workouts, and clearing out boxes. 

Lots of food
Some of the food I made this week.

I made chili this week, a huge salad, some roasted veggies, as well as zuppa toscana soup tonight and it was so good. I had two bowls! The chili was okay for not having any beans and having veggies in it, but I definitely prefer the soup! 

This has been a struggle. The benefits have been nice but I enjoy food! I have learned some good habits and I think once I reintroduce foods and see how they affect my body it will help me to determine the way I want to pursue eating in the future and what I absolutely need in my life and what I can live without.

Thanks for all of the support throughout this journey. It’s much appreciated! 

The end is near

I only have 9 days until the Whole 30 is officially over and I can begin reintroducing foods into my diet. I am so excited, but I did decide after reading the reintroduction chapter of It Starts With Food that it wouldn’t be very smart for me to binge on all of the food I want. Never mind that William has been telling me that the entire time, I guess I had to read it for myself. 

Meat and Veggies
True story: We were invited to dinner but I forgot I couldn’t have corn after I had put it on my plate, so I put what I could on William’s.

On the plus side of things, I was able to get my wedding ring off without soap or lotion for the first time in a long time and a shirt that I only wore once before and looked awful in looked really good when I wore it recently! So I can definitely see the differences in my body. 

I also made it to the chapter that had recipes so I’m excited to try a few of them out (especially the curry), and I found out that I can use coconut milk, so William went out and got some for me! The next nine days will be hard but worth it. 

A loss unlike any other

Blue and Pink Bracelet
My bracelet that lets me embrace Kiwi just a little

Today I dug out my bracelet, I just had to wear it today. At first I didn’t know why, at the time it played right into my outfit: a black dress a pink cami underneath and my blue glasses. I was wearing the colors for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month so of course my bracelet with the same colors and Kiwi’s name just had to be worn today! At some point I realized that today was the day of remembrance for those that have loss children, and I felt like it was subconsciously Kiwi’s way of saying remember me! 

I’ve lost friends and grandparents before, but losing my child was so different, so unexpected, the pain was so deep I thought I would drown. Everything I ever imagined for my daughter was gone in an instant. There would be no long life lived… and instead I would feel like I’ve lived long enough, just so that I could meet her! Of course I held her, but it wasn’t long enough. I saw her breathing, but that wasn’t long enough. 

My baby Kiwi is gone, and it sucks! 

I’m happy for this day and this month because it forces me to grieve instead of setting my feelings aside and being strong for the other areas of my life. It gives me an excuse to cry without explanation, and to really feel the tug on my heart, it also allows me to see Kiwi in different moments, be it a solitary bird flying over head, or a rainbow, those moments are sweet and I know they are her way of saying hello until we meet face to face and can embrace. 

Today, the rest of this month and every other day please remember those that have experienced a loss unlike any other! You won’t always see their pain but know that it’s there and they need prayer and support and acknowledgement.