Happy Big Sister Day!

Today Kiwi Hannah would have been three years old! So we slept in, had pancakes, took naps, played and played and played in an indoor play room, Had waaaay tooo many sweets, and just enjoyed today! We really celebrated Kiwi’s life, her memory and did things we thought she would have liked. 

A family snuggling

Enjoying some snuggle time.


We were also blessed with pumpkin scones from a dear friend who lives thousands of miles a way… When everything happened with Kiwi, and I was finally home, these scones appeared on our door one day with a note, it wasn’t until over a year later by happenstance that I finally realized who they had come from and was blown away and completely shocked it took me that long to find out, so when the same scones showed up on my doorstep with a similar note I cried for the first and only time today! I felt like the Lord remembered me and remembered my baby… it’s silly because how could he forget her, she’s with Him all the time, but it still just spoke directly to my heart, and I cried happy tears.

I also received just enough text messages/other messages that wished Kiwi a Happy Birthday that made me grateful for family and friends! Leading up today I was a mess, but we really did just enjoy playing hooky from work and taking Kobi out for some fun!! 
I miss Kiwi every day, but I am so grateful to God who gave us the time we had together and then gave us the creativity and healing enough to come up with Big Sister Day! 

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Life Since Graduation

Exactly a month a go today I graduated with my Master’s in Communications from Austin Peay State University. I never wrote anything on the blog on that particular day because I was too busy enjoying my family and friends! Now, a month later I have so much free time, it’s incredible! 

I love being able to cook dinner and not feel rushed, I can let Kobi come up and ask to read her a book at anytime, and actually read it more than once, because I have time! I love running errands with her, and playing with her outside! It’s been great to be able to do laundry the same day, and help clean the kitchen and not just Kobi’s botttles. I love having time to go on date nights with William and really enjoy our time and it not be rushed because I have homework due the next day or chapters to read! I mean we just went on a family vacation to the beach and did absolutely nothing, because we needed a break and it was marvelous!! 

Life since graduation has been absolutely wonderful! It’s still hard, and I’m still tired, but now it’s because I stayed up too late watching the movie Matilda ( true story) and not because I was finishing a paper or submitting a quiz! Y’all freedom feels good! Thank you for all your prayers and support while I was in school, I’m grateful and glad to be done! 

It’s my birthday!

Well at least for another hour (when I started writing this) it is. I turned 32 today and surprisingly with everything going on, I had a successful last minute get together, was able to finally get my pedicure, had waaaaay too much cake ended up getting some mangonada, actually I got waaaay too much mangonada and now I feel overstuffed, oh and I was treated to breakfast and coffee while I had to do school work, got a couple of pairs of new sunglasses, and my dear William gave me a duty free day and took care of Kobi all day (to include diapers, feedings, naptime and bedtime rountine)! All I did was play with her, hold her a few times and push her in the cart. It was an extra added surprise! 

I’m 32, married, have a beautiful little girl I get to help raise and one in heaven, I own my home, and I pretty much have my Master’s degree and yet I am just now beginning to believe that I am capable of the things I can do, and I am just now starting to let my light shine because hiding has been hard and tiring and I’m done with it! I’m ready for this new season, this God season, with all its grace, favor and love! I’m ready to walk into all that God has for me; like for real this time! I’m ready to be free and relax a whole lot more and worry a whole lot less. It’s going to be a new adventure and I have an exciting expectation! 

Thank you for all the well wishes today, and many blessings to you!!

We Survived Our First Overnight

Y’all life has been busy, too busy, and it really won’t slow down until the second week of May, but we decided to take advantage of an opportunity and had our first overnight without Kobi!! 

We actually picked her up like usual from our friend’s house, and then we came home gave her a bath put pajamas on her and got back in the car and dropped her off. It was hard leaving her, but I knew she was in good hands and we didn’t spend the whole time talking about her, in fact we only paused from our night to make her a goodnight video, but we did missed her terribly this morning!! 

We didn’t even do much of anything. We decided to go out to dinner to enjoy someone else doing the dishes and to enjoy a meal uninterrupted, then we tried to find me an (out of season) cardigan for the office that didn’t cost an arm and a leg (Kohls)! We did talk, and dream a little about our future, Bill told me a riddle that wasn’t really a riddle but more like a word problem, but not a word problem at all, and it went way left and I was confused for a while but we shared a really good laugh over it and then we ended up on the couch eating ice cream watching Bones. It was a great time of togetherness even though we were both tired before dinner and I had to leave early (only one episode of Bones) to do homework! 

I guess I’m surprised that we made it through the night with no tears on my part and we were able to just sit and enjoy the time we had. It’s needed every once in a while, but I do love the routines we have in place with Kobi and I look forward to being able to spend more time with my family after the second week of May!!  

Hopefully it won’t be quite as long until the next post, but alas I make no promises, because grad school!

Happy First Birthday, Kobi!

Y’all we made it! Kobi is officially one year old today!! I have so many emotions running through me but I haven’t had time to process them all because I was too busy getting everything together for her birthday celebration that we had tonight. But I’m sure things will come rushing in soon enough.

Kobi has grown so much over this pass year it amazes me every day! She is starting to walk a little bit with assistance, she loves eating real food (we had pancakes earlier today as a birthday tradition and she ate pasta and rolls, for dinner) She loves music, dancing to music or singing to the music. She knows how to clap, and she loves animals (we’re hoping to take her to the zoo tomorrow if the weather cooperates). She’s gone from a 2lbs. 11 oz. baby to a 24lbs. infant… she’s getting tall and she just wants to see everything and figure out how things work (we think she might be an engineer). She likes watching t.v and spending time with her daddy. Kobi loves to laugh and has such a big smile, Oh and she has two teeth now!! It’s so fun to hear her crunch on different foods.

Y’all my baby made it! Despite everything that happened to get her to this point we made it and I am so thankful and grateful to my God who kept her, and us! Thank you to each and every one of you who said a prayer, who brought food, who shared kind words, who rallied around us this past year. Thank you for your love and support and for cheering us on, you are loved and appreciated and I hope that each of you get to see Kobi one day in real life!

Here are a few pictures from her celebration!

Love Y’all,

Terri

My First Gray Hair!

Y’all I got my first gray hair and I am so excited!! When I found it yesterday morning my husband asked me how do I know it’s my first one and I told him well it’s the first one I’ve seen so to me it’s my first! I even got to show my mom when we video chatted last night and we were both smiling and laughing and celebrating it!

There was a tinge of sadness but it only lasted a moment. And then I thought about what could have caused it and how long it takes for a gray hair to appear… I told William that this gray hair was the fruit of last year, but really it could be the fruit of the last two years!! Either way whatever caused it I survived it and I feel just a tad bit wiser for it even if it’s not true.

I’ve always loved gray hair. I feel like it’s regal and represents a life well lived so I will gladly welcome the gray hair because to me it means that I’m living life well!
When was the first time you got your first gray hair and how did you feel?

Happy First Day of December!

Gosh, I’m so happy and I can’t believe that it’s already December!! Like where did this year go?! I’m filled with so much hope and expectation for this coming year! There are dreams that will come true and goals that will be met and I am already working on them! 

I have a sense of whimsy in my spirit that I haven’t had in many years and I feel almost carefree!! God is showing me some things and I’m ready to follow through and go after what I want for my health, my marriage, my family, my life!! I’m happy and I like the way Happy looks and feels on me!!

 It’s been way overdue and I’m done just trying to survive! It’s time I started living life a little more boldly!! So Happy first day of December and may this be the beginning of something special, real, and extraordinary for you! 

Love, 

Terri