Jumbled Thoughts

It’s already December! Eight days in to be exact and my thoughts are jumbled. I wanted the next blog that you all read to be something a little lighter than they have been, I wanted to talk about things that are making me happy, some things that my husband and I are doing. I wanted to talk about my 30 before 30 list mainly because I have already begun checking things off of that list and I haven’t really even made it known yet…but alas those posts will have to wait until another day because today is an emotional day for me.

Yes, it’s part Kiwi related but it’s also life related, family related, and prayer and ministry related as well! Of course I miss my baby. Especially when those women who were pregnant with me are getting closer to their due dates or have since surpassed where I was in the pregnancy. It almost always stifles my breath with an utter disappointment for everything that was lost.

My dear friend Vanessa made this beautiful piece of art for me out of clay and she was telling me how at the time she didn’t know why she did it the way she did but to know that it represented the silver lining… This was some time before I went to India and she was saying that if I didn’t go to India there was a reason and that there would be a silver lining in it… But as I try to think about what exactly she said way back then I am beginning to think that what she was saying had everything to do with this present moment. This heartache and pain that I feel from the lost that I’ve experienced. Yet, I’m still trying to figure out what the silver lining of all of this will be.

I’m emotional because at 29 I thought my life would be different. I thought I would be closer to my family. I thought our kids would be able to play together and grow up together (with tons of cousins) like I did. I never thought I’d be so far away from my brothers and sister and cousins. I never thought that when grandparents started to pass away I’d be so far or be unable to go back to them for one last hug. I thought I’d have a career I loved or at least enjoyed by now instead of still looking for that perfect fit.

There are things that the Lord has called me to do. These things are hard, they take me out of my comfort zone and leave me exhausted but I know that I have to do them. I know there is growth to be had and change to come. But in the mean time trying to find the balance between everything is hard work. I have all these questions to ask Him, many of which I’ve already asked Him and yet there are still no answers being provided. What am I to do while waiting for answers? Think I guess… and so you have my jumbled thoughts.

What’s there to do in Jersey???

Hello everyone, I know it’s been a while… practically a month really… I have been busy with school and getting everything prepared for my upcoming India trip at the end of July… As I have just a few minutes before my class starts I was wondering what there is to do in Jersey????

Should I take a ferry and go here?

See, As it stands I will have TWO massive layovers in Jersey and I don’t want to be confined to the airport the whole time… I would actually love to explore my surroundings and maybe even get a decent hotel room…. any suggestions? I love food (the greasier the better), and museums too!!! I saw something about the Liberty State Park with ferry service to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty… is that any good? I’ve always wanted to go to the Statue of Liberty!! Are there any areas I should avoid? Should I just forget about Jersey and take a train someplace else?  Thoughts? Suggestions? I’m all ears!!!

Picture courtesy of William Warby

Make A Note Monday: Learning To Say No

I found this blog over at the better mom and totally needed to read it again and share it, especially since the fall semester of school just started up (a blog post on that will surely come at some point) anyway it talks about how important it is to learn to say NO for the sake of your sanity and how important it is to prioritize. I hope you walk away being able to answer and reflect on the questions and how they apply to your life and hopefully you will walk away from reading this knowing that some times NO is the best option for the season you are in and that it’s okay to say NO. This article is by Tricia Goyer and can be found below under its original title.

5 Questions That Can Change Your Schedule…and Your Life

I used to be the worst at saying no. If someone needed help at church, or a babysitter, or a work-project to get done, I was the person whom they could count on. I prided myself for being able to accomplish more than anyone I knew, but the cost was great. I was stressed. I was overwhelmed. I was tired all the time. And my shoulders grew weary from the high level of expectations. Especially mine.

My husband, John, was the one who taught me to say no. After one ultra-busy season he sat me down and forced me to go over my schedule. Together we asked these questions in order to pare down our calendar:

Take a few minutes and answer these questions. You might want to start with the last one first. What do you miss out on when you forget to say no? One of the most important things is inner renewal.

Blessings,

Tricia

I Won The Liebster Blog Award!

So I was nominated for the Liebster Blog Award by a great blogger bargaindiva and am super excited because this is only my second award! The Liebster Award is meant to go to some of your favorite up and coming bloggers! Some of the blogs that I chose I haven’t been following for very long but I look forward to each and every post they put out and some are blogs that I save or tell others about all the time…

In no particular order…

In House Counsel

1211rev

The Divorce Covenant

Working For Christ

Double Hockey Sticks

123 Homemaking Made Easy

Travel Lady With Baby

The Riff-Maker

The Only Option

My Journey Continued

My Meanderings

Congratulations Everyone!!!

Now I have to answer 11 questions that were given to me to answer then I have to tell you 11 things about me and then ask those bloggers that I gave the award to 11 different questions. So here we go…

Questions for Me to Answer:

1. If you could pick any view in the world for your home, what view would you want to see out of your windows? I would have one of those views where you could see both the mountains and the ocean with a great view of trees during the fall!!

2. What is your favorite place to shop? any place that has a sale!

3. Who is your celebrity crush? Denzel Washington! He’s a pretty awesome all around stand up guy!!

4. What is your fashion style? colorfully comfortable (I just made that up but it fits so well)

5. Who or what is your fashion inspiration? no one in particular, if I like something I like it.

6. What is your favorite song? I don’t have one I have many.

7. If you had an extra empty room, what would use it for? An art room and prayer room

8. What is your dream career? to be a professional stylist

9. What is your favorite movie? Mulan

10. What is your favorite TV show? Dawson’s Creek

11. What is your favorite food?  Chicken

11 Facts About Me:

1. I want to travel the world
2. My husband and I want seven children
3. We want to adopt at least 2 not necessarily included in the seven
4. I have come to enjoy the sounds that come with a clean house (i.e.  the vacuum, the dishwasher running, the washer and dryer)
5. I really want some nerd glasses for real
6. I would love to coach volleyball
7. I have the bug to move again
8. I wanted to be a hearing impaired teacher when I was little
9. I never had a boyfriend in high school
10. I love playing board games
11. I enjoying baking for my husband

Questions for The Recipients to Answer:

1. Where is your dream vacation have you gone there and if so how long did it take you to get there?
2. What’s your dream job?
3. What’s your favorite food?
4. Where do you see your self in five years?
5. Do you play any instruments?
6. What color is your hair right now?
7. What sport in the Olympics would you play?
8. What do you do in your free time?
9. Are you on social media sites?
10. What is your favorite type of shoe to wear?
11. What is your dream car?

Official Rules
1. Each person tagged must post 11 things about themselves.
2. They must also answer the 11 questions the ‘tagger’ has set for them.
3. They must create 11 more questions to ask bloggers they have decided to tag.
4. They must then choose 11 bloggers (if possible, with less than 200 followers) and tag them in their post.
5. These lucky bloggers must then be told.
6. There’s no tag backs.

Be Still

and know He’s God. What does that mean to you? No really I need your help and want to know what being still and knowing God is in control means to you? Please leave a comment or email me what that means to you. That is if you don’t mind sharing what you think it means.

As many of you know I didn’t get the job that I have been praying for. A job that I surely thought was going to be mine… but God has a different plan, something greater in store… I know it’s true I just have to get it deep down in my soul and believe it.

This past Friday we had a night of worship at my church which was right on time because I had just gotten the news about that job earlier that day… anyway so I’m there surrendered to God crying, praising and worshiping God needing something to cling to… and me and my husband get two separate words and they both are Be Still and know… Our pastor goes on to talk about timing and how many times we are willing to believe in God but we are not willing to believe in His timing…

He went on to talk about how when Lazarus died his sisters talked to Jesus and were like if you had showed up earlier (his timing) my brother would still be alive, and how Jesus simply said I am here now (four days after he died) so that in your belief you may see the glory of the Lord (For the full story read John 11).

I am writing all of this simply to say that I know that it is all about His timing and although I believed him for this job and thought I was going to get it, it still comes down to His timing. So now here I am trying to figure out what He is doing. What if anything did I miss and I’m trying to obey Him. I say trying because I am quite literal and to me Be Still means just that… don’t move from your place…wait…

But what does that really mean… am I suppose to pick up the pieces and start the process over… am I suppose to wait on the other jobs I applied to yet haven’t heard anything back from, am I suppose to plow on through and continue packing our house up, or am I just suppose to sit in that said house and wait for Him to tell me what to do next?

What if it takes longer than I think it should take? Am I to do nothing short of my previous obligations until I hear from Him? I might be making this harder than it has to be but I just want to do His will. So if it means I sit and wait I’ll do it, if it means I plow on through this set back not putting all my eggs in one basket I’ll do that too. I just want to be in His will.

Although I am asking you all for advice please know that I will read your answers and I will pray through them all and see what God ultimately wants me to do… You’re just helping my earthly self grasp some understanding and insight into what it means to Be Still and know that He is God! Thank you for reading, thank you for your insight and for your prayers.