Date Night

It’s been a minute since we had a date night so we wanted to make sure we did a little bit of everything to make up for lost time. We went and had a wonderful meal, got drinks, and dessert and we even went shopping.

All these things took place in different areas and it was so fun to drive around Miami to do them all. We ended up watching a bit of Netflix to round out the night before we had to pick Kobi up.

I’m hoping it won’t be quite as long until the next one, but if it is, I know for a fact that we made the most of this night together!

What I learned from giving up social for Lent

I share Kobi –  I didn’t realize how much I shared her on my platforms until I couldn’t post a picture or a story of our lives together. I really missed letting everyone know all the cool ways she’s been growing, but it did allow me to treasure the memories that much more.

Praying is a way of life – I really missed praying for my friends and acquaintances via my social platforms. It made me feel connected and like I was helping them, so to not have access was harder than I thought. I mean I did still pray but it just wasn’t the same.

Baking from Scratch Cookies, and Brownies mostly, but I’ve also made some ooey gooey bars, and I just made scones last night. I’ve also made several gluten free options.

Reminding myself of the Gospel daily –  It doesn’t sound like much, but it really did make a difference in how my days presented themselves because I would talk through the Gospel and then try to apply it to situations in my day. It just leaves me lighter and more forgiving.

Intentionality is HUGE – I had to be diligent to reach out to people, otherwise the communication was few and far between. I also had to be intentional with what I did with my time (hence the reading) and actually seek out news from different sources. Another benefit of being intentional is that we found some really great neighbors just by being intentional when our children played together to actually talk to the parents *read one of my biggest fears*. Being intentional also meant making time for myself to workout, I just feel so much better when I take 30 minutes for myself no matter the time.

Memories can be made every day – Somewhere along the way I grasped the concept that I could be intentional every day to make memories with Kobi and so that is what I did. I now have a slew of memories written down for the last month and it makes my heart happy.

Reading is fun! –  I already knew this, but I got to remind myself of this and I finished 3 books while I was away. Now that I think about it, they were all Autobiographies/Memoirs and they were wonderful. I read My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor, Born A Crime by Trevor Noah, and Becoming by Michelle Obama.

Making mom friends isn’t that hard – All you gotta do is show up, and be willing to be put yourself out there. I looked up a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group here in Miami and started attending and they have been a huge blessing! It’s been so nice to be able to connect with mothers in the same season of life. Kobi and I have had playdates and good outside of the home time together because of it. I also started going to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) on the recommendation of the MOPS moms and that was so good to make connections with some great women not to mention the studies are phenomenal! If you haven’t heard of it you need to google it and sign up!

I AM A GOOD WIFE – This one is huge! Since we got married I had this false sense of what a wife should be because I never really had any true examples, so I’ve just been winging it; with God’s help of course but it’s still not been first hand discipleship so I’ve felt inadequate. However, during this time I’ve been able to be a bit more attentive to what makes William happy and what helps our family run smoothly and I’m actually doing a good job and I’ve found a joy I didn’t have before.

Eating Gluten Free and Vegetarian is pretty good – I realized during this whole thing that I needed to expand the way I worshipped and if I were to worship the Lord with my whole self I should take care of the body that I have been given. Therefore, I have been really buckling down on eating gluten free when I can because it makes me bloated and causes really bad back pain, (so not a real allergy but a sensitivity for sure). I also met with a woman who had PCOS and got rid of it and is pregnant with her second child by ditching the meat, and sense the Lord had already been talking to me about I decided to give it a go. The whole thing is still a work in progress and I’ve done some research so I think I’m on a path of a flexitarian. I’m trying to eat mostly veggies and really limit my meat intake when I can. The overall experience has been better than I thought and I’ve even made several gluten free treats from scratch.

 

 

To my Knight in shining armor on our anniversary

Dear Knight-in-shining-armor,

It’s been ten years. Life has been hard. The armor is a bit banged up from all the elements of this adventure we have lived together. It’s clunky, rusted, and hard to move around in. Even so, you still polish it and keep donning that heavy suit for me, making sure I feel our happily-ever-after hasn’t completely died.

It’s been ten years. The weight of the armor has been an unnecessary burden on you just because I liked the way it looked. It’s not realistic and I’m sorry I’ve made you carry that weight around all these years. For a girl who hates Disney I sure did fall for their lie…

Nevertheless I have seen the error and the damage I have done and on the day that we celebrate our love of being married. I would like to release you, to tell you to TAKE OFF THE ARMOR and go and get top dollar at the junk yard for the scraps so no other man can fall into that lie.

See the problem with you being a knight was that you were never really allowed to rest. You were always in a fight, and you served me no matter the situation and probably worst of all, you were never allowed to make a mistake. The only person who was ever that perfect was Jesus and yet that same standard was tossed upon you and polished so brightly it blinded me.

It’s only by God’s goodness and glory that we’ve come this far because I’ve had it all wrong this whole time. I’ve been walking around so blinded by the pristine shine from your armor that I couldn’t see you, and it’s just now that I am starting to see and believe the “you” you have become. You need to be in a position where you rest, where your decisions are valued, where you don’t have to be in a fight all the time, where you can be seen and where you can make mistakes knowing full well they are allowed and we can work through them together. If I’m suppose to be your helpmate, why can’t I help solve the problems instead of making you feel like they are all your fault even when they are out of your control?

Today we are ten years in… it’s been a hard ten years it feels like we’ve lived several different lives in that time. And although I feel like I’m starting from the beginning, I’m excited because I know that there are no filters, no light blindness, just you in your rawest form and I get to see you, to hear you, to watch you stretch out and become the man you were always meant to be.

I’m sorry for the things I did, the things I didn’t do, the things I said or didn’t say when I was walking around blinded by the armor I made you wear. I have repented for the damages I have caused our family and I am asking your forgiveness today so that we can start this next decade on the same page of realistic expectations, hopes, and dreams together. Happy Anniversary, my love. Thank you for loving me so faithfully and so unconditionally all these years.

Where Was God Today Day 24

Today the Lord made himself known in the way my husband loved on me. We both had a rough night with Kobi so I slept in and he made us breakfast this morning. He actually brought mine to the room for me so it was breakfast in bed!

Before dinner he also took the time to do Kobi’s hair which was so precious and one less thing I had to do! I am very grateful for the husband the Lord gave me and I know I haven’t even scratched the surface of how the Lord loves me through William.

Nine Years, Many Lives.

Today William and I celebrated nine years of being married. It was a real low key celebration. I guess that’s what happens when you move to a new city and are on a tight budget. There were no big gifts exchanged, but we did have breakfast as a family, a family nap, a kid free coffee/putt putt date and dinner as a family. It was a nice celebration.

Somewhere between cards being exchanged and coffee being drunken we were in agreement that although we’ve only been married nine years it seems like we’ve lived many lives in that time. There are pivotal moments that have happened in our lives that have marked us and changed us and now is no different.

We had newly wed lives, before and after Miami lives, before and after Kiwi lives, NICU lives, not to mention the mission trips, the trainings and conferences that have marked our lives or the lingering effects of our before marriage lives. We were told this life together would be an adventure but we had no idea what that meant let alone what it could look like.

As hard and long as these years and lives have been, it’s all been worth it to call William Michael Harding my husband. He truly is the man for me. He balances me so well, and loves me so deeply and I look forward to this life, and the future lives with such hope, wonder, and gratefulness to experience it with him.

William Michael Harding! I Love You! Happy Anniversary!