A New Life

After a pain so deep I thought it would kill me, I found new life! When Kiwi took her last few breaths on this side of heaven it completely ruined me. The anguish I felt was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and am in no hurry to feel again. It was a struggle just to breathe, let alone eat or get out of bed! I won’t say sleep, for once I did fall asleep I slept to pass the day. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, it was one of those gut wrenching cries that you feel in the pit of your stomach! 

At some point, about 3 months later I decided that it was time to do something, so I found work  to keep my mind busy, then decided it was time to go to grad school and a year to the day of Kiwi’s first birthday, I found out I was pregnant with her little sister, Kobi! Although, there was a new life to grow, I was petrified. The saga that was bedrest began, grad school got put on hold,  and I did absolutely everything I could to keep Kobi growing. However, little miss Kobi decided she wanted to come closer to her sister’s original due date and made her appearance in February! We finally had a baby on this side of heaven to take care of, and to love!!

Time in the NICU made things go very slowly at first, days began to run together, and I couldn’t wait until William got off so we could go for our visits. All I ever wanted to do was be with our new baby! We were able to finally bring her home and things began to pick up! I spent all my time with her, went back to grad school, and stayed home with her as long as we could afford to. 

Kobi grew and grew and grew some more!! Her first birthday came and we celebrated her life and all that God has planned for her! It truly was a joyous occasion. We have often joked that we got to celebrate keeping her alive, cause it really is a huge accomplishment, but now as she is beginning to walk, and her personality is beginning to show itself, and she’s becoming more independent, I see that she has kept ME alive! 

She has given me a new life! One full of joy and frustration and gratefulness even at two in the morning! Kobi literally makes me feel better just by holding her, and she gives me the energy and “want to” that I need to get stuff done.  I want her to see a positive example of what marriage is like. I want to make sure that she is taken care of, not just now but when we (her parents) are long gone! I want her to know the voice of Jesus, the love of God and the comfort and teachings of the Holy Spirit. I want her to know that her prayers are heard and answered according to His will! I want her to love people, travel and good food! I want her to know that her father and I are a safe place and I want to show her unconditional love. It’s that want I have for her that keeps me alive and has given me a new life! 

People have always said, “a baby changes everything” and they are absolutely right, but I think most people focus on the long nights, the dirty diapers, the privacy issues, and the overall change in schedules. They never talk about the joy you feel at each milestone accomplished, even if it is just pooping, or getting a full nights sleep. Or better yet, the cooing, and the smiles. That clapping and the laughing. My favorite thing to do is to watch Kobi try to figure out how something works! I can see the wonder and curiosity in her eyes and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I love teaching her new things and finding moments to just love on her, and seeing her play with her daddy, consistently melts my heart because she adores him!! Those are the things that have made the changes so worth it!

This new life is not quite what I expected but I am loving every moment of it and am so grateful to have each and every experience to learn and continue to grow.

On This Day

At this very moment, I had a few words with Cookie as the music started to play and everyone began walking in to take their places on the stage and I couldn’t stop crying because I couldn’t believe that I was finally getting married and having a real wedding to boot! Getting married was something I had always dreamed about but never really saw it modeled, so I didn’t think it was possible, but then I met Jesus and He gave me the desires of my heart as I walked in to the room and professsed my love for you in front of our closest friends and family.  The ceremony ended with our first kiss, but that was just the beginning! We danced, I fell, we visited with our friends, we ate a little, and we helped clean up too, we celebrated becoming one and I am so grateful to you for making me your wife! 

On This Day

8 years later, William, I want to say thank you for loving me, and for fighting for our marriage! Thank you for being the best husband you know how to be and for your continued efforts to be even better! We have been through so much in these eight years and yet I still feel like I  have barely scratched the surface to your heart. William, you are an amazing, complicated, sensitive man and I promise to always put in the effort it takes to love you better and love you just the way you are! I love you today and always and am truly honored to be your wife!! Happy Anniversary my love!! I am glad to be on this grand Jesus adventure with you!! 

Happy First Birthday, Kobi!

Y’all we made it! Kobi is officially one year old today!! I have so many emotions running through me but I haven’t had time to process them all because I was too busy getting everything together for her birthday celebration that we had tonight. But I’m sure things will come rushing in soon enough.

Kobi has grown so much over this pass year it amazes me every day! She is starting to walk a little bit with assistance, she loves eating real food (we had pancakes earlier today as a birthday tradition and she ate pasta and rolls, for dinner) She loves music, dancing to music or singing to the music. She knows how to clap, and she loves animals (we’re hoping to take her to the zoo tomorrow if the weather cooperates). She’s gone from a 2lbs. 11 oz. baby to a 24lbs. infant… she’s getting tall and she just wants to see everything and figure out how things work (we think she might be an engineer). She likes watching t.v and spending time with her daddy. Kobi loves to laugh and has such a big smile, Oh and she has two teeth now!! It’s so fun to hear her crunch on different foods.

Y’all my baby made it! Despite everything that happened to get her to this point we made it and I am so thankful and grateful to my God who kept her, and us! Thank you to each and every one of you who said a prayer, who brought food, who shared kind words, who rallied around us this past year. Thank you for your love and support and for cheering us on, you are loved and appreciated and I hope that each of you get to see Kobi one day in real life!

Here are a few pictures from her celebration!

Love Y’all,

Terri

Guess Who’s 11 Months Today?

Well of course that would be our beautiful here on earth daughter Kobi not be confused with our in Heaven daughter Kiwi because she’d be two! Anyway Kobi is growing so fast I’m both excited and want it to stop! She loves to eat new foods and I’m not just talking puréed foods (today she had half of a plain slider) her sitter feeds her papas and carne asada (with our consent of course)! She’s eating real food people, real food!!!

We’ve noticed her personality really coming out a lot more lately. She sings, she dances, she absolutely LOVES music, everything interests her to where you know she wants to know more about something. Kobi crawls when she wants to and is learning to stand up. She also takes a few steps when holding mine or daddy’s hands.

She weighs 22.4 pounds is about 30 inches tall and wears a size 18 months!  She loves to laugh, and watch Super Why on Netflix and she is learning to play with other kids her age (thanks Cami). She’s so smart and strong (she can kick me out of a chair if I let her) and she’s really kind and compassionate she always wants to make sure other babies around her are okay when they cry. We have to reassure her that they are okay so she can relax. She is a great communicator and she is rarely upset and she likes most everything except rabbits and guinea pigs (she legit cries at the site of them). Kobi amazes me every day!

Here are some pics of her.

Thanks for following our journey!

 

 

Our Christmas Family Vacation!

We have celebrated Christmas for the last few years with some great friends but this year they moved across the country and so we were left with a dilemma… What to do for Christmas? After talking it over and checking the budget we decided at the last minute to spend Christmas in Las Vegas with said friends and bonus we had my mom come up so she could finally meet Kobi! It was such a wonderful and much needed time away and time with family! Oh and I got to see one of my oldest friends after 10 years too! We went to the Hoover Dam, and to Red Rock Canyon, and ate really great food all cooked by Holly herself!

Kobi’s first Christmas was great! We snuggled in bed then she sat and listened to her daddy read the Bible explaining the Christmas story and she loved all the paper and actually played with a few toys! She was super exhausted after opening most everything but definitely needed food and a nap before continuing. William and I had a few surprises for each other which was nice because we already knew what we wanted. We decided to remember Kiwi by wearing matching Christmas socks because it’s something simple and we can continue to do that for years to come. And the highlight was seeing my mom interact with Kobi!! It’s been a long time coming and it was definitely my Christmas Miracle!! I hope each of you reading this had a wonderful Christmas celebration. Thanks for your continued reading!

~Terri

Here’s a link to pictures of our adventure!

Kobi is 10 months!

Ten whole months have gone by and she’s so close to being one we definitely need to start thinking about her birthday party among other things. She is 20 lbs. She loves to eat and wants to try all the food that everyone else is eating. She is finally saying mom and she says dada and baba and just today while holding daddy’s hands she can pull herself up in a standing position! She still loves music and is learning to pray for people. She loves to talk, loves people and her daddy and is genuinely a happy and joyful little girl! She’s so smart and clever and strong and I completely love her even when she tries to hold her spoon full of food and gets it everywhere or kicks me in the stomach while she’s sleeping or grabs my homework and tries to eat it (she loves paper too)! The hard days are always worth it and I love being Kobi’s mom!

 

Here’s a link to see a picture of Kobi for those of you who aren’t already following me on social media. Be blessed!!

Kobi’s First Thanksgiving 

She’s already 9.5 months old and today we celebrated her first thanksgiving with family. We haven’t had a family Thanksgiving celebration in a few years and it was so nice to be together, to catch up and for the three littles to meet each other for the first time! They were all so loving towards each other!! Kobi was decked out in her first thanksgiving gear and she even tried some of turkey that her daddy cooked (it’s his specialty and it didn’t disappoint)! Everyone left full and satisfied and feeling a bit more loved and missed!! It’s hard having family so far away so this gathering was just what we needed! Blessings to all and Happy Thanksgiving to each of you! 
P.S. To see pictures feel free to look at my Facebook page you can find me under Terri Harding, Thanks!