This morning as I was driving into work I found out who our next President Of The United States will be. Instead of being sad I thanked God for being in control of all things. I told Him I knew He wasn’t surprised by this outcome and I began to pray for Donald Trump. I prayed that He would have a heart transformation and that he would love his life accordingly. I prayed that he would be surrounded by a good counsel of people who know the Lord and have been discipled and who can speak and be heard by Mr. Trump. I prayed that the Lord would give him wisdom and revelation to do what needs to be done and I thanked God for the plan He has and for the continued protection that we have as His children.
I didn’t pray the whole way into work actually that prayer didn’t take more than ten minutes. I know the Lord heard me and hears my prayers and I know that it’s going to take a whole lot more people than just me to come into agreement for lives to be changed and so I encourage you all to say a prayer for President Elect Trump today and to remember to pray for him and all other government officials often. Let the peace that surpasses all understanding take over you, reach out and be intentional about loving each other and know that God’s got this under control!
In times of uncertainty as such, Jesus Christ is the only certainty we have. And for me that’s more than enough. Be blessed and remember His Love IS Real!
Y’all we made it! Today is the last day of the blog challenge. I am so excited that I was able to post a blog every day this month especially with everything that has been going on!
When I started I had no job, school was quickly approaching but not really thought about, Kobi was barely 6 months old (she’ll be 7 months on Saturday), William and I hadn’t been on but one date night without Kobi ever, and now I just put in my notice for my temp job in order to start my new job, I’m in the second week of school and making it, Kobi is growing faster than I’d like, William and I are planning our next alone date night and somehow I’m managing it all.
I don’t know how well I’m doing but everyone is still alive and well. I’m still trying to figure out a free way to post pictures because magically finding an extra $100 isn’t going to happen just yet and Kobi’s seven month update is coming soon!
Thank you for your continued support! Above all else remember that His Love Is Real! He hears you and sees you and only wants the best for you!
Today I go in for a procedure that is going to aid in letting my baby bake longer so that what happened with Kiwi won’t happen again!
I know, I know!! It’s been a while but it’s true God has given us another baby!! And we believe that this child whom we call Bow is God’s promise to us and despite what my body is doing, he will go full term and we will raise this baby!!
We’re not as far as we were with Kiwi just yet but we are about a month out… I mean in all actuality we only found out a month ago we were even pregnant!! Did I mention we’re still in grad school? So that’s why this post is so delayed but please know that we are so grateful for your continued prayers and support because our hearts still ache for our daughter Kiwi!
Our lives have changed all over again and there’s not a doubt in my mind that this baby is our miracle baby!! The road ahead won’t be easy but God is in control of everything and He will see us through this!! There can’t be a miracle without the need for the miraculous and we are definitely in need… But our hope is in the One who made us and who knew all of this was going to happen before we ever did!! He knows what He is doing and His Love IS Real!
It’s been three Sundays since my beautiful baby girl Kiwi Hannah went to be with Jesus and I have come to realize that Sundays are the hardest day for me because of that.
I am use to and enjoy spending time with a corporate body worshipping Jesus on a Sunday morning but it’s hard for me to fellowship when all I want to do is go back to the day I held my baby in my arms.
As the weeks go on it doesn’t get any better, in fact it gets harder because all I want is to have my baby back but I know it’s impossible as long as I’m on this earth.
I think about her several times a day mainly what stage of growth she would have been at and it’s heart breaking!
I am trying to give myself enough grace to cry and mourn and just be but at the same time I know I need to enjoy the moments of peace and joy that come my way in the form of friends and prayers and gentle smiles from strangers and my husbands loving touch.
It seems like my heart aches uncontrollably more on Sundays more than any other day. It’s like God’s little reminder that I’m still alive and that my heart hasn’t become numb and calloused but the ache is deep and makes even breathing difficult.
I know that my life is forever changed and that Jesus is the only one that can heal my heart enough for me to move forward, but I can’t wait until I get to the point where I can enjoy Sundays again plain and simple.
I’m back! I know it’s been quite sometime…. the last time I wrote you all I was trying to find something extra cool to do in Jersey on my way to and from India. Well needless to say I had a great time in India, and ended up seeing the sights in Manhattan instead of Jersey. I also graduated from Austin Peay State University with a Bachelors of Science in Communications with a concentration in Public Relations. But that’s not what has brought me back…
During the summer June 10th to be exact I found out I was pregnant to my delight. If anyone has followed me for any time you know the struggle it has been for me and my husband to conceive and how painful mother’s day has been for me. So to say that I was beyond ecstatic is quite the understatement. I went to India in July fully pregnant with confidence that the Lord would protect both me and my baby and He did! I graduated in August with my baby present under my robe! And in September I finally felt the little flutters of movement I had been waiting for! But even that is not what I’m back to talk about…
See, just a few short days ago Sunday September 21st at 5:34 am I gave birth to my daughter at only 18 weeks old. She was 8 oz and 8.5 inches long. We decided to name her Kiwi Hannah Harding because we called her Kiwi every night as we prayed for our baby, at the time we didn’t know what we were having and we still didn’t know until we had her that morning. She came too early because I have found out that I have what is known as an incompetent cervix (I dilated without any symptoms or pain). Therefore, no cervix=nothing to keep baby in… thereby producing a much too early delivery.
And that is why I’m back! Even in my heartache, brokenness, and grief I know that God is good and His love IS real! It doesn’t mean that I’m not mad or that I don’t have tons of questions that still may never get answered but I had to come back in my time of grief to give God the honor and glory He still deserves even in my darkest hour!
So prepare yourselves, I’ll be blogging more often about my long journey to surviving this devastation… Thank you for continuing to read this blog even in my absence and thank you for your continued prayers for me and my family during this horrific time in our lives. I’ll try to also blog about the good times as well…