Where to go from here?

This month is over! There was so much stuff going on I really don’t know what my focus should be for the coming month. Trying to find the balance between work and life has been unattainable and will probably remain as such forever, but my goal is to be at least 60/40 at any given moment. Therapy is still much needed. I actually had fun doing our budget and keeping track of what was going on with our money at any given moment. It actually brought about a freedom I don’t think I’ve felt in a long time when it comes to money. It would be nice to add another date night into the budget as well as a few other line items. I want to start running again, and continue to be mindful of what I put into my body mainly dairy and processed sugars. I want to get to bed at a decent time again, instead of past midnight. I really want to refocus and readjust my goals going into the last 3 months of the year and I want to continue to go deep with Jesus and His word. I didn’t really narrow anything down, but I do know that I feel much better about going into this new month with a fresh perspective and newly outfitted goals! Thanks again for your support and encouragement!

This month was hard

On the eve of this month almost being over, I just want to say how thankful I am that tomorrow is the last day of this month! September was by far the hardest month of the year for me. I’m usually emotional because it’s Kiwi’s Birthday month, but to throw in a sick kiddo, big work projects, and trying to change our family tree by getting out of debt at the same time it was a lot to take on at once, and I’m still trying to recover.

I’m not sleeping all that well, I’m not really motivated to do much, I’m just ready for it to be over, so that I can just reset, make some goals for next month and give myself a bit more grace and balance. I’ve made some strides and I had some wins, but to know that this month is almost over brings so much relief.

Thank you for coming to read my posts, and for participating in the dialogue during this blog challenge. Hopefully I won’t go so long in between posts and can incorporate this space into my regular calendar, because it has been fun to blog every night, and to hear from my readers.

Blessings to you all,

Terri

Runners in the making

Tonight I went on a run with Kobi, and a few women from MOPS and church that I met. It was the first time I’ve run outside/with others since I left Oregon and it felt so good! Not to mention I was so proud of Kobi who ran most of the way and l only stopped a couple of times and even then it wasn’t that long.

Kobi hydrating after our run

It was her first time running for fun and it was my first time being brave enough to run with her as a form of exercise and not just a quick race. I’m proud of me too. I didn’t want to go because I’m so tired and I had already gotten a workout in earlier in the day and it was dark and Bill wasn’t home yet, but I stuck to my word and showed up and I had a great time! I’m excited to see how we improve as we continue to show up!

I got home and checked my Facebook memories and found this picture from four years ago:

I realized looking at this memory that I had just found out I was pregnant with Kobi in this picture and so “we” ran this fun run way back then and we just so happened to run together again tonight!

What a cool little memory. I am so happy that I showed up and fought through the sleepy whiny kid and my excuses because I love when things line up like this and Jesus knew that, and did I mention I actually had fun and don’t feel horrible after running?!

I am excited to see where this running thing takes us, as individuals and as running buddies. As I watched her run and love winning and struggle when our friends left us, I realized that she had no clue how well she’d actually done and how if we keep running she’ll get it and she’ll only get better.

Our time and distance to beat next time

Then I realized as I was talking to my dad that if I could have believed in myself when I ran track as much as I believe in myself now I would have been an even greater force!! I didn’t know then that I could run more than a lap back then. As I grew older I saw glimpses of it and obviously I learned how (while I was in the Army) to run longer distances but I never enjoyed it, until now.

So here I go, again. It took me a minute to get here but hopefully with Kobi’s help I’ll stick around a little longer.

What brings you joy?

If this was a couple of months ago, I wouldn’t know how to answer this question. Lately, I have seen this question come up several times and it has caused me to reflect on what really brings me joy. As of this evening, sitting on the beach/a body of water or doing yoga is what brings me joy.

I do also find joy in watching my daughter in any one of her many elements, and of course, spending time with my husband brings me joy too. However, just focusing on what brings me joy. I would also add doing my nails, whether professionally done or not also brings me joy and coloring too.

It’s not much, but it’s more than I’ve had in the past, and I am excited to either gain more joy or to dig deeper into the ones that I currently have.

So, what brings you joy?

I can do hard things…

Like running for the first time in months! It wasn’t pretty, but I did it. I only ran for 8 minutes before I stopped to walk but I gotta start somewhere, right? I had grandiose plans to run 5Ks this year and I only ran one but the year is not over yet and I can still begin to train for them now. I can start right now where I’m at.

Like speaking up and letting my opinion be known, regarding my feelings, even if I have nothing else to offer because it’s not logical.

Like doing almost an hour of yoga because my body was telling me that I needed it.

Like not jumping through hoops that will stress me out to make things happen for others when I’ve been informed at the last minute.

Like standing firm with my daughter, when the consequence directly interrupts what I want to do.

Like trust my body that it is doing exactly what it is suppose to be doing.

Like claiming my healing even when I don’t see it just yet.

Like have a talk with my boss when I feel like I’ve failed him. Even if it was through tears, I did it and will do it again when ever necessary.

Like finding the balance between being a mom who works outside of the home and being fully present with my family and still finding moments for myself.

Like readjust my goals, to make them more attainable and realistic for where I’m at.

I can do hard things because I am strong. I am capable. I am enough. I am worthy.