This month is over! There was so much stuff going on I really don’t know what my focus should be for the coming month. Trying to find the balance between work and life has been unattainable and will probably remain as such forever, but my goal is to be at least 60/40 at any given moment. Therapy is still much needed. I actually had fun doing our budget and keeping track of what was going on with our money at any given moment. It actually brought about a freedom I don’t think I’ve felt in a long time when it comes to money. It would be nice to add another date night into the budget as well as a few other line items. I want to start running again, and continue to be mindful of what I put into my body mainly dairy and processed sugars. I want to get to bed at a decent time again, instead of past midnight. I really want to refocus and readjust my goals going into the last 3 months of the year and I want to continue to go deep with Jesus and His word. I didn’t really narrow anything down, but I do know that I feel much better about going into this new month with a fresh perspective and newly outfitted goals! Thanks again for your support and encouragement!
I have found this to be true, even if the person you have to apologize to is 3.5 years old. Maybe especially if the person you have to apologize to is 3.5 years old. Kobi was having a hard time sleeping through the night last night and I had already stayed up late doing work. So needless to say I wasn’t that pleasant when she woke me up.
As I lay in my bed trying to go back to sleep, I felt that tinge in my heart that comes with God’s loving conviction and I didn’t want to get up because I was tired, and I felt the Lord say would you rather be tired or would you rather have her heart damaged?
So I got up, went in to her room snuggled up in her bed and I asked her to forgive me for being unpleasant. I explained to her that I had stayed up late to work and that I was still very tied but that didn’t mean I should be rude. She forgave me, and I thanked her, and then told her I was going back to my bed to go back to sleep because I was still tired. As I write this, I’m still tired but at least I know I can sleep well tonight knowing that I did my best to take care of my treasure’s heart!
Today Kiwi Hannah would have been three years old! So we slept in, had pancakes, took naps, played and played and played in an indoor play room, Had waaaay tooo many sweets, and just enjoyed today! We really celebrated Kiwi’s life, her memory and did things we thought she would have liked.
We were also blessed with pumpkin scones from a dear friend who lives thousands of miles a way… When everything happened with Kiwi, and I was finally home, these scones appeared on our door one day with a note, it wasn’t until over a year later by happenstance that I finally realized who they had come from and was blown away and completely shocked it took me that long to find out, so when the same scones showed up on my doorstep with a similar note I cried for the first and only time today! I felt like the Lord remembered me and remembered my baby… it’s silly because how could he forget her, she’s with Him all the time, but it still just spoke directly to my heart, and I cried happy tears.
I also received just enough text messages/other messages that wished Kiwi a Happy Birthday that made me grateful for family and friends! Leading up today I was a mess, but we really did just enjoy playing hooky from work and taking Kobi out for some fun!!
I miss Kiwi every day, but I am so grateful to God who gave us the time we had together and then gave us the creativity and healing enough to come up with Big Sister Day!
Exactly a month a go today I graduated with my Master’s in Communications from Austin Peay State University. I never wrote anything on the blog on that particular day because I was too busy enjoying my family and friends! Now, a month later I have so much free time, it’s incredible!
I love being able to cook dinner and not feel rushed, I can let Kobi come up and ask to read her a book at anytime, and actually read it more than once, because I have time! I love running errands with her, and playing with her outside! It’s been great to be able to do laundry the same day, and help clean the kitchen and not just Kobi’s botttles. I love having time to go on date nights with William and really enjoy our time and it not be rushed because I have homework due the next day or chapters to read! I mean we just went on a family vacation to the beach and did absolutely nothing, because we needed a break and it was marvelous!!
Life since graduation has been absolutely wonderful! It’s still hard, and I’m still tired, but now it’s because I stayed up too late watching the movie Matilda ( true story) and not because I was finishing a paper or submitting a quiz! Y’all freedom feels good! Thank you for all your prayers and support while I was in school, I’m grateful and glad to be done!
Y’all we made it! Kobi is officially one year old today!! I have so many emotions running through me but I haven’t had time to process them all because I was too busy getting everything together for her birthday celebration that we had tonight. But I’m sure things will come rushing in soon enough.
Kobi has grown so much over this pass year it amazes me every day! She is starting to walk a little bit with assistance, she loves eating real food (we had pancakes earlier today as a birthday tradition and she ate pasta and rolls, for dinner) She loves music, dancing to music or singing to the music. She knows how to clap, and she loves animals (we’re hoping to take her to the zoo tomorrow if the weather cooperates). She’s gone from a 2lbs. 11 oz. baby to a 24lbs. infant… she’s getting tall and she just wants to see everything and figure out how things work (we think she might be an engineer). She likes watching t.v and spending time with her daddy. Kobi loves to laugh and has such a big smile, Oh and she has two teeth now!! It’s so fun to hear her crunch on different foods.
Y’all my baby made it! Despite everything that happened to get her to this point we made it and I am so thankful and grateful to my God who kept her, and us! Thank you to each and every one of you who said a prayer, who brought food, who shared kind words, who rallied around us this past year. Thank you for your love and support and for cheering us on, you are loved and appreciated and I hope that each of you get to see Kobi one day in real life!