We had a wonderful Christmas just the three of us today. We slept in, I cooked breakfast, opened up presents, had a quick nap, worked out and made dinner in the instant pot. It was just what we needed. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas celebration!
We have celebrated Christmas for the last few years with some great friends but this year they moved across the country and so we were left with a dilemma… What to do for Christmas? After talking it over and checking the budget we decided at the last minute to spend Christmas in Las Vegas with said friends and bonus we had my mom come up so she could finally meet Kobi! It was such a wonderful and much needed time away and time with family! Oh and I got to see one of my oldest friends after 10 years too! We went to the Hoover Dam, and to Red Rock Canyon, and ate really great food all cooked by Holly herself!
Kobi’s first Christmas was great! We snuggled in bed then she sat and listened to her daddy read the Bible explaining the Christmas story and she loved all the paper and actually played with a few toys! She was super exhausted after opening most everything but definitely needed food and a nap before continuing. William and I had a few surprises for each other which was nice because we already knew what we wanted. We decided to remember Kiwi by wearing matching Christmas socks because it’s something simple and we can continue to do that for years to come. And the highlight was seeing my mom interact with Kobi!! It’s been a long time coming and it was definitely my Christmas Miracle!! I hope each of you reading this had a wonderful Christmas celebration. Thanks for your continued reading!
Today officially makes three months that my Kiwi Hannah went to be with Jesus. Today has been both good and bad. I learned a lot about God’s sovereignty when it came to the birth of Jesus. Our neighbors accepted our invite and came to church with us and they enjoyed it. I got to watch a friend do what she loves on stage.
But while listening to a song today at church that I wished Kiwi was here to listen to I couldn’t help but break down and cry!! It was giving praise to Jesus and all I could think about was how Kiwi didn’t need to be in my belly to hear this awesome song because she was present with Jesus praising Him in person and that in a few short days she’d get to wish Jesus a happy birthday in person too!! I mean how cool is that!
I miss her so much but when I think of things like that it almost seems selfish of me to want her back!! It doesn’t stop the pain, but it does make it somewhat bearable although I’ve been sulky and weepy since I got home from church today… I just want things to be different, less hard, more joyous, and less heartache; but it looks like I’ll be going in to next year with a broken heart and expectations for God to fix it and make it new.
I wanted to take this time to acknowledge the blessings that are plentiful in my life right now at this very moment. There’s not a long list but they have equally made me glad and brought me joy in this season of my life…
I GOT A JOB!!
This is truly an answered prayer!! I have been searching for somewhere to work since the passing of Kiwi. I figured since I wasn’t going to be able to parent my child, I could at least help on our goals of getting out of debt. So to bring in anything extra is a great blessing for our family. I prayed and asked God to allow me to be working by January and here it is I’m working a few weeks before. God is so good.
It’s the YouTube channel that my husband and I have started in order to grow and learn about each other. It’s so much fun and really has blessed us! Not to mention it is quality time well spent because we both like doing them together which is rare for us. Feel free to check our series #WhatsForDinner out here.
I almost didn’t put this in here… because it’s a twitter led YouTube series hosted by Gary Vaynerchuk… but then I realized that it has played such a pivotal role in my life and household that it is indeed a blessing! This is what inspired the previously mentioned YouTube channel William and I started! We watch these episodes and nerd out on them together!! This has allowed us to find common ground and to dream together. Not to mention I have been featured on the show twice in my short time of following it (Episodes 50 and 57) and it COMPLETELY BLESSED MY SOCKS OFF! To have the chance to engage with someone who is doing what they love through what I love (social media) is something special and it’s sparked something in me to go after what I want!
As to be expected after everything happened with Kiwi going to be with Jesus. Christmas didn’t really seem all that important. I struggled to get into the “Christmas Spirit” but somewhere along the way, (I think it had a lot to do with the “Road to Christmas” Bible Study I’m doing with a group of friends) I found it but I realized that I never lost it… I just wanted to focus on the true meaning of Christmas and not the overly commercialized parts! I want to acknowledge Jesus’ Birthday, God’s sacrifice and the Holy Spirits presence, I want to spend time with family and friends, I want to share an intimate moment with my husband holding him close and snuggling a bit longer. I want to dream again but not my dreams; the God dreams I momentarily let go of in my pain and sadness.
William and I both in this season have found a group of real friends and wouldn’t you know it– I don’t have any pictures because I’m too busy enjoying the time together to “capture the moment” even for social media!! But let me tell you this group has brought us laughter, fun, food, and most of all memories!! I’m actually crying a little bit thinking about how much they mean to us! Even though they were all there before we lost our precious Kiwi Hannah their consistency has healed us faster than we ever thought possible!
These are my blessings and I’m counting them over and over again because they bring me absolute joy! Thanks for walking this journey out with me. I love you all!
This week Christmas will be upon us and I found this wonderful video by Cloverton that does a wonderful job of explaining what Christmas is all about. It pretty much gives you the good news of what God did by coming down in human form as Jesus who was born of a virgin in order to save us from sin and death so that we could have everlasting life in heaven. As you spend this time with those you love please don’t forget to give Jesus a Happy Birthday shout out!