Today Kiwi Hannah would have been three years old! So we slept in, had pancakes, took naps, played and played and played in an indoor play room, Had waaaay tooo many sweets, and just enjoyed today! We really celebrated Kiwi’s life, her memory and did things we thought she would have liked.
We were also blessed with pumpkin scones from a dear friend who lives thousands of miles a way… When everything happened with Kiwi, and I was finally home, these scones appeared on our door one day with a note, it wasn’t until over a year later by happenstance that I finally realized who they had come from and was blown away and completely shocked it took me that long to find out, so when the same scones showed up on my doorstep with a similar note I cried for the first and only time today! I felt like the Lord remembered me and remembered my baby… it’s silly because how could he forget her, she’s with Him all the time, but it still just spoke directly to my heart, and I cried happy tears.
I also received just enough text messages/other messages that wished Kiwi a Happy Birthday that made me grateful for family and friends! Leading up today I was a mess, but we really did just enjoy playing hooky from work and taking Kobi out for some fun!!
I miss Kiwi every day, but I am so grateful to God who gave us the time we had together and then gave us the creativity and healing enough to come up with Big Sister Day!
Well at least for another hour (when I started writing this) it is. I turned 32 today and surprisingly with everything going on, I had a successful last minute get together, was able to finally get my pedicure, had waaaaay too much cake ended up getting some mangonada, actually I got waaaay too much mangonada and now I feel overstuffed, oh and I was treated to breakfast and coffee while I had to do school work, got a couple of pairs of new sunglasses, and my dear William gave me a duty free day and took care of Kobi all day (to include diapers, feedings, naptime and bedtime rountine)! All I did was play with her, hold her a few times and push her in the cart. It was an extra added surprise!
I’m 32, married, have a beautiful little girl I get to help raise and one in heaven, I own my home, and I pretty much have my Master’s degree and yet I am just now beginning to believe that I am capable of the things I can do, and I am just now starting to let my light shine because hiding has been hard and tiring and I’m done with it! I’m ready for this new season, this God season, with all its grace, favor and love! I’m ready to walk into all that God has for me; like for real this time! I’m ready to be free and relax a whole lot more and worry a whole lot less. It’s going to be a new adventure and I have an exciting expectation!
Thank you for all the well wishes today, and many blessings to you!!
Y’all we made it! Kobi is officially one year old today!! I have so many emotions running through me but I haven’t had time to process them all because I was too busy getting everything together for her birthday celebration that we had tonight. But I’m sure things will come rushing in soon enough.
Kobi has grown so much over this pass year it amazes me every day! She is starting to walk a little bit with assistance, she loves eating real food (we had pancakes earlier today as a birthday tradition and she ate pasta and rolls, for dinner) She loves music, dancing to music or singing to the music. She knows how to clap, and she loves animals (we’re hoping to take her to the zoo tomorrow if the weather cooperates). She’s gone from a 2lbs. 11 oz. baby to a 24lbs. infant… she’s getting tall and she just wants to see everything and figure out how things work (we think she might be an engineer). She likes watching t.v and spending time with her daddy. Kobi loves to laugh and has such a big smile, Oh and she has two teeth now!! It’s so fun to hear her crunch on different foods.
Y’all my baby made it! Despite everything that happened to get her to this point we made it and I am so thankful and grateful to my God who kept her, and us! Thank you to each and every one of you who said a prayer, who brought food, who shared kind words, who rallied around us this past year. Thank you for your love and support and for cheering us on, you are loved and appreciated and I hope that each of you get to see Kobi one day in real life!
Today Kiwi Hannah would have been two years old!! It’s been the hardest when I see William playing with Kobi and I know there should be a toddler there playing with them… But instead of making today a sad day the whole day… We decided that today and every September 21st would be Big Sister Day! William actually came up with the idea and Kobi made sure to keep her “Lil’ Sister” onesie clean all day!!
Anyway we decided that we would do things that we wanted to do in order to celebrate Kiwi with the option to do things she would like doing as well… This year we had lunch with friends, got pedicures, spent time playing at home, and we had cupcakes!! It was so much fun and Kobi was tuckered out at the end of it all! We had a wonderful time together as a family and I actually am looking forward to future celebrations… And although I miss Kiwi Hannah terribly, today made it not hurt as bad… After all she’s with Jesus and there’s no better place to be! So Happy Big Sister Day everyone and Happy Birthday Kiwi!! Thanks for the love and support and prayers. It’s been hard but we’re making it!
I’ve been waiting for this moment since we got married because of the “7 year itch” myth, legend, tall tale, saying… I’ve wanted to make it past this year and I know we will but I don’t just want to make it through this year I want this to be our best year! I want this year to be full of joy and peace and pure happiness! I want to love my husband deeper and more of the way he likes to be loved. I want to go on a family vacation with out little one to the beach, and just keep living for Jesus!
It’s kind of hard to really celebrate in the middle of winter when our city actually decides to be cold and it decides it wants to snow and rain all day. We started our day by going to church then we had a modified donut date for the first time in months. We finished prepping the nurse’s Valentine’s Day treats exchanged gifts and then left for Nashville. We went to our favorite restaurant and then we went to spend the rest of the night with our daughter Kobi in the NICU at Vanderbilt. We were fortunate to get the best anniversary gift; we both got to snuggle with Kobi! Can you say BEST DAY EVER?!
This anniversary has been like any other but I wouldn’t change a thing!! Thanks to those who helped us get this far and thanks to those of you who have been praying for us through this difficult time with our baby Kobi.