This is a picture taken last night, which lets me know that Kobi is almost back to her normal self. This morning was further proof when she woke up and actually requested breakfast and then ate about 3 eggs. Her energy levels aren’t quite there yet, but the fact that she was up long enough to make a mess of the living room, watch tv most of the day, and then run when it was time to take her medicine lets me know she’s on the up and up.
The last couple of days have been hectic and scary and plain exhausting. I feel like I could go to sleep for three days straight. My soul is tired, but it’s also at peace because my baby can breathe again, her wheezing has greatly subsided and as much as it angers me to have to chase her down and restrain her in order for her to take her antibiotics, I’m happy that she’s not sleeping all day and refusing to eat.
Things have been pushed aside and not at the most convenient of times, but I’m grateful for the grace and understanding that followed my failures and I am beginning to understand what a supportive team really looks like, for that I am grateful and as Kobi is making her way back to her normal self I’m excited to have a rejuvenated excitement of getting back to maintaining the standards I set for myself.
This is actually what Kobi said this evening at dinner when she was asked if she felt better. She said no, but Jesus is helping me.
Hearing her say this made me think, “well at least we’re doing something right”, because it is true, He is helping her, He’s helping me, He’s helping our family. Things may not look the way we think they should at any given moment but, it doesn’t mean that things aren’t happening for our good.
I have been discouraged today, but it doesn’t mean that I have to accept that momentary feeling as a permanent fixture in my life because Jesus is helping me to stay positive, to remember what He’s called me to in this season, and to recall all the other times He has brought me through. So I’m going to bed full of peace tonight and I hope this encourages you to do the same.
I have found this to be true, even if the person you have to apologize to is 3.5 years old. Maybe especially if the person you have to apologize to is 3.5 years old. Kobi was having a hard time sleeping through the night last night and I had already stayed up late doing work. So needless to say I wasn’t that pleasant when she woke me up.
As I lay in my bed trying to go back to sleep, I felt that tinge in my heart that comes with God’s loving conviction and I didn’t want to get up because I was tired, and I felt the Lord say would you rather be tired or would you rather have her heart damaged?
So I got up, went in to her room snuggled up in her bed and I asked her to forgive me for being unpleasant. I explained to her that I had stayed up late to work and that I was still very tied but that didn’t mean I should be rude. She forgave me, and I thanked her, and then told her I was going back to my bed to go back to sleep because I was still tired. As I write this, I’m still tired but at least I know I can sleep well tonight knowing that I did my best to take care of my treasure’s heart!
My Dearest Katherine,
Today was your first day of school! It’s pre-K 3 but you have a school uniform, so I’m counting it as your first day. You looked so big and grown and when I asked you what your favorite part was you said, “all of it!”
I was so sad all day because I know that today was the first step of many you will take further away from me and closer into the grown up Kobi you are suppose to be. The last time I asked you, (just a few days ago) you said you wanted to be a helicopter pilot when you grow up. You also have a wonderful imagination and have kept your father and I scratching our heads with some of the stuff you’ve said. You’re already reading books on your own, and tonight when we baked cookies, you didn’t need the chair to stand on, just standing on the step stool was enough.
You are growing and changing and I know it’s inevitable, but I also want to savor each moment, each memory we make together. You are going to change the world! You are strong, you are smart, you are kind, you are valued, you are funny, you are loved, loved, loved!
My prayer for you today and always is that you will always love going to school, that you would continue to love Jesus and shine His light wherever you go! That you would make friends but be okay with knowing that everyone won’t like you. I pray that you chase your dreams, and that you remember you are loved unconditionally, win, lose, success, failure. Keep trying, keep getting back up, always finish what you start. It won’t always be easy but it will be worth it!
Happy First Day of School my love!! I know you are going to learn so much, and I promise to try and learn with you and encourage you to continue to learn even when it means surpassing my knowledge! You were created to be great!
Kobi turned 3 today! Making her 3 on the third aka her golden birthday. I feel like once she realizes what a golden birthday is, she will feel bummed because she didn’t really remember her celebration, so I tried to make it as special as I could.
For months I asked her what she wanted for her birthday and all she said was I want cake with my family. She wanted an orange cake with ten candles to be exact, so I set out to make from scratch (sans the orange color) a two layer cake with buttercream frosting and ten candles. It took waaaay to long but I had fun and she loved it!
We kept the celebration light. Pancake breakfast, naps, playing with presents, bubbles, and balloons, pizza eating, some Super Bowl style foods, tons of FaceTime/video chats, the orange cake of course and then we ended the night with a special Rockstar sized prayer for her third year of life!!
There are so many feelings I’ve felt today, but the one that stands out the most is gratefulness! She is my rainbow baby, full of God’s promises, and His power and I stand in awe that he saw fit to allow us to steward her life while we are on this earth. Happy Birthday Katherine Obadiah Harding! We love you forever!