I Published My Book!

Its called So, You Found Yourself In The NICU, Now What? And you can get it on Amazon in both a Kindle and a paperback version!

My first book on Amazon

It’s a bit of a surprise even to me because although I have had this blog for almost ten years and grew up writing poems, I never considered myself a writer! Years ago, I had words spoken over me that said I would write books, so I always just waited to see what the books would be about because nothing seemed right. So I waited, and life happened, then more life happened, and even more, life happened, fast forward to now, and I have finally written and published my first book!

You can purchase it here

It’s the first one, it was written out of an ask from a friend who found herself in the NICU. I sent her this long text and then realized that maybe if I put this in a book, it would be a resource for other parents. So I got to work writing, finding different perspectives to share, and asked friends to be a part of seeing my vision come to life, and everyone said yes (thanks guys)!

The book is designed to be a practical guide, things that can be done almost immediately to help the days go by faster. It’s from the perspective of a first-time mother, a father, and a veteran mother with other kiddos to consider. I hope that this book is used in hospital NICUs as a resource for parents all around the world!

So if you are in the NICU, this book is for you, and if you aren’t, this book is for you to give away! Consider buying a copy and giving it to your local hospital that has a NICU or a nonprofit you know that helps with the NICU, or you can just buy it to support me and keep it on your shelf.

Thank you, dear readers, who have thought enough of my writing to subscribe and keep coming back over these almost ten years! I appreciate your encouragement and support, and I look forward to continuing to write for you!

A Letter To My Daughter: 4 Years at home

Kobi: four years apart

My Dearest Katherine: Today marks THE DAY you came home from the hospital after you stayed in the NICU for two months four years ago… that was a mouth full, that’s for sure.

It may not seem like a huge day, but in retrospect, it’s everything to me! This was the day that we finally got to take you home and start living life fully and completely, and today, four years later, you have already surpassed my wildest dreams!

Right now, you can read and write, and your storytelling abilities are fantastic. You are a great athlete (soccer and pseudo volleyball). You are super into drawing, and you are beginning to help out around the house more by making your lunch and folding laundry. You care about people genuinely and are very emotional, and you’ve got a funny way of calling me bro and dude in casual conversation.

Simply put. Kid, you’re fantastic!

Today we did school work: we worked on odd and even numbers, and you memorized Deuteronomy 31:8, which says

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.

NIV
Kobi’s memory verse written out

We also played outside for a little bit, and we got to pray with Mr. Red and Mr. Leo, who are essential personnel during this COVID-19 situation. You blew them bubbles and wished them a happy, almost April! We told stories together using your story cards, and you picked what you wanted for dinner.

You’ve changed so much in four years, and even though I’m sad that you will never be this young again, I am so excited to see where you will go and how much more you will grow with each passing year! I love you, Kobi, and I hope you always remember you can always come home.

Kobi, my love, I simply wanted to say thank you for being your beautiful sweet self and always remember that I love you.

Love mom

To my daughter on her last day as a three year old…

Mom and daughter on couch
Kobi and I during her last day as a three-year-old.

My Dearest Katherine,

I am currently happy-sad that this is your last day as a three-year-old. It’s the only way I can explain the overwhelming emotion that is pulsing through my body. I’m trying to find the words, but all I can think of is what color combinations from the color monster book I could use to adequately describe how I am feeling, what would yellow and pink with a little blue be?

You are my treasure, but you are not in a treasure chest. You are an answered prayer, and the fact that you’ve been an answer to my prayer for almost four years now makes me marvel at our God! I’m so grateful to have you here with us, but with every year that’s passed, I’ve gotten sadder because you’ll never be that little again, and the way that you are currently fast-tracking your studies I feel like we have even less time with you before you are off in some distant land telling everyone you know about what Jesus has done for you!

You are so so full of life and energy and joy. Even though I am exhausted at night, I am also so thankful for the blessing you are to my world. The way you love your father is so sweet to watch. Your sense of justice is endearing! Thank you for always standing up for what’s right. I love that you have begun calling us out for the way that we speak to each other because there is the power of life or death in our tongues, and you remind us of that all the time.

This third year has been a great one! We moved to Miami, and it seems to have done us right. You love the letter church and your school, and you are even beginning to learn Spanish.

Thank you for being my Sunshine and for truly making me happy when skies are gray! You single-handedly saved Christmas for our family and have shown me what it means to make everyday moments into extraordinary memories! Thank you for loving people so well and for showing me that I can enjoy them too!

So tonight as you sleep, please know that although it hurts me to watch you grow, you are growing just the way Jesus wants you to grow and don’t ever shrink your growth thinking that will make me happy. I want to see you discover new and wonderful things that I have never known. You truly were created to do great things, and I want to see you accomplish them all! So, my love, I leave for just a little while, for the next letter will be on the first day you are four (in just a few short hours)!

Rest well my love,

Love, your mom!

Merry Christmas, My Love

Katherine,

Merry Christmas, My Love! Your unadulterated joy has been my Christmas miracle. Thank you for loving Jesus and still being excited to see Santa, snow, and the bright lights all around you at every turn! Hearing you sing Christmas songs in English and Spanish has been a real treat, and listening to you read scripture has been a highlight of my life!

Thank you for showing me how great Christmas could be, I know you are going to miss it when it’s gone, but you can celebrate it all year long if you want! I’m glad I was able to find some matching pajamas for us, and I’m so happy we got to spend time together doing some of the things we enjoy doing.

Seeing Christmas through your eyes was so magical it blessed me to see your excitement. I love you, and I’ll always love celebrating Jesus’ Birthday with you!

Merry Christmas, My Love! When you read this, I hope you know that I love you and that you truly made my Christmas season merry and bright. You saved Christmas for me this year, and my prayer is that I would remember how magical this season is for you and embrace it entirely in the future.

~Love Mom

Almost back to normal

A toddler girl with a curly fro in pajamas walking out of a room with a floor covered in legos.

This is a picture taken last night, which lets me know that Kobi is almost back to her normal self. This morning was further proof when she woke up and actually requested breakfast and then ate about 3 eggs. Her energy levels aren’t quite there yet, but the fact that she was up long enough to make a mess of the living room, watch tv most of the day, and then run when it was time to take her medicine lets me know she’s on the up and up.

The last couple of days have been hectic and scary and plain exhausting. I feel like I could go to sleep for three days straight. My soul is tired, but it’s also at peace because my baby can breathe again, her wheezing has greatly subsided and as much as it angers me to have to chase her down and restrain her in order for her to take her antibiotics, I’m happy that she’s not sleeping all day and refusing to eat.

Things have been pushed aside and not at the most convenient of times, but I’m grateful for the grace and understanding that followed my failures and I am beginning to understand what a supportive team really looks like, for that I am grateful and as Kobi is making her way back to her normal self I’m excited to have a rejuvenated excitement of getting back to maintaining the standards I set for myself.