Y’all. I’m home alone right now and after the week that I’ve had I’m so grateful for the silence. I’m overly emotional because next week is Kiwi’s Birthday. We’re trying to get out of debt, I am trying to publish my book, I still have to work, there’s still therapy that needs to get done. I want to buy all the makeup and new clothes cause I’m feeling my self, but did I mention we’re trying to get out of debt?! Lol.
I could be cleaning, or watching one of the countless shows or videos that I’ve saved but all I really want to do is sit in this silence with this small tinge of pain in my heart and think about what my life will be like a few years from now.
I have to think about the future so I won’t get sucked into the past, heartbreaking, earth-shattering grief I was in knowing full well that I’m allowed to feel all the feels regardless of when they come but I have to maintain some sort of balance. I’m gonna try some stuff I learned from therapy to soothe my ache and I’m gonna let myself cry but most of all I’m gonna enjoy the silence.