Approximately ten days from now my baby Kiwi Hannah will be one year old/ one year with the Lord. All I can think about even with all the homework I have to do is that I am suppose to be planning a first birthday party! But really, how do you plan a party for someone who’s already at the best party ever!?! I want to celebrate Kiwi and acknowledge her in some way that can be a growing tradition even after the other kids get here… We were thinking a get away but I don’t know if I can handle another get away while in school seeing as how I’m already behind from my week long non-negotiable wedding vacation in Cali last week!
I was thinking of purchasing a keepsake but then I don’t really know what I would get nor do I want to be collecting things. I don’t want to create a shrine of keepsakes because the last thing I want is for Kiwi Hannah to become some false idol during my remaining years of this new normal (not saying that if you’ve collected things you’re idolatrous). I was thinking of taking cupcakes to work and having a small celebration dinner later that night…
But I am also thinking about taking off of work and making it a personal day with Jesus with an acknowledgment dinner later that night… So many decisions to make in such a short time. I’m already weepy and don’t want to go to work only to have to leave early because I can’t control my tears… But I know life must go on… I also know that I am allowed to be sad and I’m allowed to take breaks when necessary so I’m only somewhat conflicted on what I want to do.
Thanks for listening I had to get that off my chest! Blessings to you all!