This isn’t a dream…

…it’s my life! Oh how I wish this was a horrible dream. My life is improving in other areas so quickly but in the baby arena it is standing still… Wandering what happened and if any of the last year was real!! 

Next month will make a year since we found out we were even pregnant… A whole year since our journey into parenthood began… And yet here we are with Mother’s Day right around the corner and nothing physical to show for it… No baby to spend the day with… No little feet butterflies for me! 

I want my baby and instead all I’m left with is a picture and a heart shaped box that sits on my mantle. Why can’t this just be a dream? Please let this be a dream!!! 

I was doing okay but then something was said and it triggered the pain but atleast I can look at a pregnant woman or an infant and not feel the physical pain anymore… I go to sleep hoping the day I had without Kiwi Hannah will change when I wake up and everyday it is the same… She’s worshipping with Jesus and I’m here seeking His presence.

One thought on “This isn’t a dream…

  1. Be strong, have faith in HIM! HE is by your side as Kiwi Hannah is by his side in heaven. Don’t let Mother’s Day bring sadness but let it bring peace knowing where she is and that you will be with her and HE is there to give you strength.

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