A Mother Who Hasn’t Parented

Just the other day I realized those words perfectly describe who I am! I am a mother who hasn’t had the opportunity to parent my child. It hit me one day while I was driving; Kiwi Hannah made me a mother but her siblings will make me a parent.

Right now I am reading Priscilla Shirer’s Book One In A Million and on page 34 it talks about the manna that the Lord had given the Israelites upon their exit from Egypt into the wilderness, she goes on to say this: “The manna He’s asked you to chew on right now may be tough to swallow, but it’s the process through which your taste buds will be renovated and refined. I know it’s different. It’s suppose to be.”

Reading those words hit me like a ton of bricks because even though this pain is so unbearable at times I know that the Lord will not only see me through it but He will allow something beyond my wildest dreams to come from it as a part of my testimony. In the mean time I have to continue to eat the “manna” of pain and heartache that comes with the death of my first child, while waiting for the healing and victory to take their place. I’ve stood back for too long and it’s about time I stood up and walked out into what He has called me to do, and if that means I have to eat manna for a while or be different then so be it.

A few pages later in the book (page 36) Shirer has this to say: “God has made provision for you to experience abundant life without having to blow your diet on things that can only succeed in making you less happy with the person you’re turning out to be. Trust His provision to be complete, perfectly suited, right on time, and always sufficient.”

And that is exactly what I plan to do… TRUST GOD IN HIS TIMING, HIS PROVISION, HIS SUFFICIENCY!

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