Today while at a dear friends house I realized a couple of the shattered dreams that I won’t have because my Kiwi Hannah is gone… and it made me cry, right there in the middle of her kitchen. She didn’t care that I was crying, she did a great job of letting me get it out and even talk about it.
But the pain of not being able to do school projects with her or even worry about what kind of cartoons she’s watching really sucks! Yes I know that I will eventually get the chance to do those things with future children but Kiwi will always be my first child and I didn’t get to do anything with her; NOT ONE THING!
I’ll never have the chance to get her ready for a father-daughter date, or get to see what sports she would have been interested in, or even play in her hair… None of the things I wanted to do with her will ever get done and that hurt is deep.