This week has been the roller coaster of emotions that I knew would come… I was finally able to drive my car by myself without wanting to veer off into on coming traffic or drive straight into a ditch! I actually drove all the way to Nashville for a job lead which was great progress for me on so many levels! I also have been able to go to sleep without crying myself to sleep and even as I type this I am home alone with just my thoughts and yet still okay.
But it just seems like with every step forward comes minor set backs that cause me to almost forget that I’ve made some progress… today i have been in a foggy state and mean to my husband. I’ve barely gotten out of bed all day… just long enough to share a sermon with my husband and eat a bowl of cereal… for lunch I worked on my bible study homework and ate gummy bears until I was tired enough to go to sleep.
Yesterday I went to the pumpkin patch with a huge group of friends and that was bittersweet because I ended up doing a ton of things I wouldn’t have normally done if I was still pregnant… I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up this morning early to spend time with Jesus and got to say Happy Birthday at 5:34 this morning to Kiwi Hannah!
I know this is gonna be hard and it really is gonna take every moment of every day I just want to have better days on a more consistent basis without having minor set backs afterwards…