Words From A Wife: Meet Crystal

Ever since I became engaged this woman has been in my life really helping me to figure out what it means to be a wife. And more importantly keeping me in line and my feet on solid ground. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She has definitely saved me from myself on more than one occasion all while loving me unconditionally!

She’s the kind of woman who has standards that far surpasses others and that’s what I love most about her because at the end of the day she hears from and listens to God for everything to include what it means to be a wife and how to do it better each day…

Meet Crystal…

A man his wife
Crystal and her husband have fought for their marriage and won!

She is my support system in every way and she is more than just a friend, she is my sister, my road trip buddy, she truly is a lifelong friend and I sincerely love her and I trust and respect her opinion on everything. Here is how she answered my questions…

How long have you been married? 17 years and 7 months
Were your or are your parents married? My parents were married for 19 years and then divorced… They remarried other individuals the same year – currently married for 16 years. What did you learn from your parents that you use in your own marriage? A lot of things that I don’t need to do…one thing my Mom taught me was to be a wife who loves her husband no matter what and to keep my focus on God…  What’s your secret to being married? Prayer… lots of prayer! When my spouse fails me and my expectations, I go to God and ask him to fill me up with his presence. I have also learned to stand firm, even when everything in me has wanted to run away. When you learn to quiet your inner voice and really let God lead you through hard times, you find the strength to stay in your marriage. 

How do you learn to compromise as a wife? How do you and your spouse learn to compromise? I remember that the world isn’t all about me. I need my husband to do things for me and if I can’t ever give him what he needs, then chances are he won’t do the same for me. It is a necessity to compromise… I look at it as a lesson in humility. My husband keeps me humble and grounded… I do the same for him. Sometimes we don’t give into each others needs and wants. But that is when the Holy Spirit deals with us individually. When you are focused on God and determined to follow him, compromise is inevitable.

What was the best advice you’ve ever received? Love isn’t a feeling, it is a choice! Sometimes you feel great with your spouse and other times you can’t stand them, but in the end it is a choice. God’s love for your spouse is the only one that lasts and you had better tap into God for it. Oh and my hubby says that you need to teach your husband to put the toilet seat down…lol! What was your life like when you first got married? Terrible!!!!! We got married for the wrong reasons. We had a few good moments, but we were both very selfish and not wanting to include God in our marriage. So when we fought, it was like WWIII… it is a wonder that either of us made it through the first 7 years without losing body parts or our minds.

What makes you a wife? Being married to my husband makes me a wife, but Jesus makes me a bride to my husband.
Have you ever considered being a wife as a full-time occupation? Yes, in fact I was a stay at home wife and mother for many years. Whether you work outside the home or in the home, if you are married then the Lord has called it to be your #1 occupation on this Earth.  What are your expectations as a wife? To be a support and buffer for my husband. I ask the Lord frequently to make me the kind of wife HE needs me to be for my husband and not the type that I THINK I need to be for him.

Does societies portrayal of a wife line up with what you do? Probably not, but then again, most of what I do doesn’t line up with society. I am so glad that they don’t determine my worth! At the end of the day, I am accountable to God and my husband on how I am doing as a wife… NO ONE else! They are both great about telling me when I am missing the mark in a way that builds me up and doesn’t tear me down. Of course, I look for wisdom from others concerning marriage, but at the end of the day the final word rests with God and my husband.

Have you ever read any books on being a wife and if so what were they? Love and Respect is a great book. The Five Love Languages is another important one for us. I also read books to help me understand myself as a woman… The most important book, however, has been the Bible. The reason I am still a wife today is because of that book. I have learned humility, grace, love and truth from that book!

Crystal, Thanks for consistently being my support when I need it, for showing me what it means to be a wife and for being so willing to share with my readers. And  thank you readers for coming along for the ride. Until next time, blessings to you!

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