By now everyone probably knows about the awesome job that I just interviewed for this past week. Well today I received an email simply stating that another candidate had been selected for the position…. and I cried. And then I told myself that it was okay to cry, and then I told Jesus that I still loved Him and that I would praise Him anyway!
I know there are wonderful things that the Lord is doing in me and there are wonderful things He wants to show me through all of this. and when I think of them all I will surely let you know… but for right now I can only think of a few things.
The first being that I am loved more than I know. I had SOOOO many people praying for me it was quite unbelievable really. I didn’t know that so many people read my blog or cared to lift me up in prayer. So to EVERYONE who prayed for me THANK YOU! I am so encouraged. And the feeling of gratitude and love run deep! And please don’t think for one minute that you failed because I didn’t get the job. You’re not a failure you succeeded in praying me through this time in my life where I needed you the most!
The second thing that I have come to realize is that maybe I started to believe in that job more than I believed in Jesus even though I gave thanks to Him. I started to imagine what my life would be like and what it might feel like to be financially stable. Not that God wants us to always be in need, but He doesn’t want us to lose sight of Him being our provider and the ultimate goal of why He is sending us there which is to introduce that city to Jesus!
The third thing I realized is that God has been preparing me for this answer for a few days… This very morning I woke up and said to myself,” you didn’t get the job.” I immediately thought it was just me being hard on myself… Yesterday while driving I was talking to Jesus and I told Him that it was His job to provide for us not our job to provide for us…and there’s been other instances in the past where He’s put something in my spirit to prepare me so that the blow wouldn’t be so bad. I guess what I am trying to say is that I can hear God, He speaks to me, He drops little nuggets of truth and reality to me all the time and I just need to start believing it and acting accordingly.
The last thing I know for sure is that HE is in control! He know’s exactly where I need to be and I just need to be still and know that He is GOD. He is never-changing, He is the same yesterday, today and forever! I asked for His will to be done… I asked that; He didn’t force me to ask that His will be done so I can’t be upset at Him for closing the door on what I wanted. If it’s not His will; it’s simply not His will… but I know I’m gonna keep seeking Him until I find what He wants me to be doing. What His will for my life in Miami will be…