My dad is here…

So my dad is here… And now I can exhale. It’s a sigh of relief. For alls well that ends well. We’ve embraced each other and I’ve watched him today…

He’s a bit grayer than I remember but I see my sister’s face when he smiles an my brother’s personality when he speaks and even though he’s a bit older than I remembered those subtle hints remind me that he really is my dad.

I wish I could say that there were tears of joy streaming down my face but there wasn’t. It’s not that I’m not happy it’s more like I don’t really know how to act. I mean one minute I want to run into his arms and sit in his lap and the next minute I want to scream at him for all the times he wasn’t there.

But what good would that do? It might make me feel better for like 2.5 seconds but it’s not going to make him feel any better…

He came to me so that he could rest and relax, regroup and practice restraint. He came to me because he needed to get away. He won’t be here forever… So I better enjoy this time that I do have with him. Regardless of the things that may or may not have happened.


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