Yesterday in church I finally heard something that I needed to hear… The pastor said God wont EVER tell you to do something that’s going AGAINST His word; its contradictory. Pretty simple huh? Yeah I know, but I needed to hear that for when I heard it that last little bit of spiderweb soul tie that I had hanging on me fell never to be seen again. I was freed by those words, at that very instant I saw it fall and I felt His peace and comfort come over me. I heard Him whisper to me, I am glad you finally see that what you once had wasn’t ever me!
I then realized that I had in fact been dancing with the devil all those years ago. The man I once held dear was in fact a distraction from the enemy himself. That explains two things: 1 why it hurt so bad to let him go in the first place and 2 why he never came back for me when he had the chance. Of course he wasn’t ever coming back for me, he got what he wanted and the enemy had me right where he wanted me, broken, used, distraught, having little to no self-worth, tattered and ashamed.
BUT GOD knew exactly where I was and how He was going to woo me into His arms forevermore! When that day came in Tabitha Smith’s living room on beers street on post after a spaghetti dinner and the purple book of course it hurt, in fact it ached so bad I couldn’t stop crying, I was fighting with God so scared to let that huge chunk of my life go for fear of the unknown and if I would ever love like that again… I see it now as the Lord doing surgery on my heart at that very moment but my heart was covered almost completely by the tentacles of a jelly fish. Some tentacles were longer than others and went deeper than I ever knew sucking the life out of me, pushing the talents, dreams, and gifts that God had given me further and further away from my heart so that I could never find them; as if they never even existed.
God knew all of this and He came to my rescue! He pulled and pulled until I knew what I had to do, not all at once and not fast like a band-aide on an already healed wound. No, He was gently lifting the tentacles off of my heart piece by piece, (I mean after all I had learned to live my life with that jellyfish attached to my heart and if He would have just taken it off instantly I might not have made it to where I am today), until He could get to a part that I’d let Him touch because it didn’t hurt that much or the pain was gone. He did that for quite some time and then He’d show me how to prevent it from coming back and how to get rid of the little pieces still stuck by reading His word, focusing only on Him, proclaiming His promises over me and going to Him in prayer multiple times a day. That’s been my life from that day back in 2007 until now.
Even though I have made enormous strides there was still always that lingering piece that last spiderweb of a soul tie hanging on for dear life occasionally trying to remind me of the person I use to be but yesterday that final piece that was stuck down deep finally came to the surface of my heart and fell under my feet in sweet victory! My heart was then washed by His blood and He told me, now go and love your husband the way I want you too.
Now let me clear something up, I love my husband dearly he truly is my Knight In Shining Armor whom I never thought I’d get but always wanted. But that little piece put a damper on how deep I could love him, so as soon as it fell and I was completely healed by God I was released to love him even deeper than before and I know that my love for him has been instantly taken to the next level. HIS love IS real because He is love and He would never tell you to do something that goes against His word; because it’s contradictory!
I have been told many times that He has anointed me to preach the good news and He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted and to set the captives free and I believed it and still do! Now I know that I know that I know that this is exactly what I will be doing. It’s like the belief in my heart that’s been a little dormant has finally made it to my head and it will not be moved! I have been freed and I will freely give what has been given to me! HIS LOVE IS REAL and I am here to share it with the world!
Thank you Jesus for healing my heart and for rescuing me from the captivity that I was in for giving me a new life when I needed it to affect those you needed me to touch thank you Lord that you are calling me to another level of maturity I love you more and more each day please continue to speak to me and allow me to remain aware of your presence, In Jesus’ Name Amen!