What a Christmas

My goodness this has definitely been a memorable Christmas! It really started last night when I had the honor of observing my dear friend and her children whom I adore, open up their Christmas gifts while their dad looked on from Skype over in Afghanistan! It brought tears to my eyes just watching them. I mean to them it was Christmas and yet you could feel and hear the underlying tone of the many days since he’s been deployed… it was probably one of the most humbling moments of my life, and one of the best Christmas Eves ever…

Today me and my husband went to one on our pastor’s houses. It was the first time that we had spent a holiday with a pastor and his family and it was really nice. I mean we did nothing but eat and talk and just hang out. I guess it was just super different from anything I have done in the past. It wasn’t bad at all, just different. After we left their house we came back to our house and I took a little nap and then those very special friends came over tonight and we watched movies and just spent time together… I even got my hair done during the visit…

I also had the opportunity to talk to my family on the phone and it just made me realize that no matter how much you try to block it out, the pain of not being with family during the holidays is still evident. I think I have tried for a very long time not to care that I was away from my family but this Christmas those bricks that have held me together all these years came tumbling down….truthfully I don’t think they were ever that sturdy to begin with but you get the idea… anyway it wasnt too pretty I was a mess and a half for a little bit in front of my friends and all… and I still didn’t care because when I looked up I still didn’t see my mom, dad, sister or brothers…. not to mention the tons of wonderful aunts, uncles and cousins that make up my family. I miss not being there. I thought it was supposed to get easier as I got older but it hasn’t. Maybe it will change when we have kids or maybe I will miss them even more because they are not around to see my long-awaited kids first Christmas… all these thoughts and things happening in my mind and in front of me…  Oh and did I mention that my husband and I decided not to buy each other gifts this year. I think it was my bright idea actually… and I am not venting and saying he should have known I still wanted something… in fact I am just drawing the attention to the fact that this year has been unlike any other… which brings me to my last point…

Today, well actually tonight but on Christmas nonetheless I found out that a dear friend of mine Billy Miskell passed away yesterday. We were in the Army together and we deployed together… and I don’t know if you guys have ever been deployed or if you are even in the military however let me just tell you; the people you deploy with ALWAYS have a special place in your heart no matter what! It doesn’t matter if you hated each others guts you still have a bond with that person because you roughed it and survived together… well anyway we were in the same unit…and he was always in the office making us laugh and just cutting up… trying to make the days go by just a little faster… Anyway we kept in touch via Facebook. And every once in a while we would talk or email each other or post something on each others walls…I mean I don’t want to portray this picture like we were best friends or something but we talked on a semi-regular basis… I mean some of the stuff he’d post just made you have to say something… well apparently he passed away from complications with diabetes. He just found out he had it not too long ago so he was in the beginning stages of figuring everything out… he had two beautiful boys whom he truly adored and would give anything for… and it’s just sad to know that he’s not on this earth anymore… just like that, in a blink of an eye… gone…

I guess I am wondering whether or not he’s in Heaven with Jesus today on His birthday or in Hell regretting all of Eternity. Death is real and so is Heaven and Hell. You never really know the state of someone’s life until it’s too late. God knew. He knew indeed. Miskell had been on my heart to pray for often and I would pray for him and whatever it was I felt the Holy Spirit was leading me to say. But it was more like an intercessory prayer on his behalf. Because God knew that this day would come. And now all I keep thinking about is if I prayed for him enough. Did I fulfill all the things God wanted me to fulfill before now, before yesterday? There are so many unknowns and I guess I’ll find out where My dear friend Miskell is when I get to that crossing point of Eternity with My Abba Father. All I know is that HisloveISreal and for whatever reason He wanted me to pray for my friend so I did. Only He knows why He wanted me to pray for Miskell and I will be okay with not fully knowing the story because Proverbs 3:5 says: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. It is not for me to know or try to figure out but it is my job to trust the Lord and to know that He has everything under control! Below are a few pictures of my friend Miskell. Whenever it is that you are reading this please pray for the two little boys Issac and Steven that he has left behind as well as the rest of his family. thanks and blessings to you always!

A brave and heroic United States Solider
The Miskell I remember
Proud Papa
Miskell and his boys such a Proud Papa

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